Choices: What we see in loving and leaving.

April 22nd, 2012

Messy Room Moving Box Puzzle

“I have given everything I see in this room all the meaning that is has for me.” – A Course In Miracles: Lesson 2

 

Journal, April 17, 2012 A fitting lesson to dowse in the Course, as I look around me. From room to room, I see boxes stacked wherever there is a spare space. Some holding 36 years of marriage. Some holding the last 18 years of reconciliation.

I give them the meaning that they have. The objects inside are clueless to the purpose assigned to them. On a good day, they speak to relief and gratitude for the honesty expressed that made it necessary to pack them up. On a bad day, they speak to surprises and sideswipes. If I am the meaning-maker, which meaning shall I embrace today?

Yesterday, I made my first serious “pass” through the divorce papers while my husband packed up his “pieces” of the kitchen that was our kitchen – soon to be my kitchen. I am somewhat in awe as this process of acceptance and forgiveness unfolds. And I am grateful that I am journaling through this – writing under fire as it were – and know that I am benefiting exponentially.

Exponentially? Really? How do I know?

We are always choosing stories, are we not? Well then …
Read the rest of this entry »

Surrendering: the stories we tell

March 18th, 2012

 

Surrender the Stories: charcoal by bernadette rose smith

Surrender • charcoal on Bernadette’s Pages substrate; page 63
by Bernadette Rose Smith

 

Ever listen to your thoughts and marvel at how persistently they weave into stories you tell yourself? Stories that do not serve you well? Especially in times of transition?


How happy would your dreams become if you were not the one who gave the “proper role” to every figure which the dream contained. – A Course In Miracles


I woke up this morning with a thought.

“Surrender that.“ whispered the angel.

“What?” I asked.

“That ‘My God, sideswiped again, I’m not enough’ story.” chuckled the angel.

“Oh? You mean the ‘How could I have missed this, how dense am I that it took another eighteen years of marriage to figure this out, I’m alone again thought?” I snapped.

“My dear, you had so many more thoughts attached to that one. You didn’t notice the storyteller revving up? You were on Chapter 14 before I could get a word in edgewise.” announced another angelic chuckle.

“How can you laugh?” I asked, somewhat irked. “You were around in ’94. Don’t you think this is a little ridiculous for two people to be this far off base with each other?”

“What? Ridiculous to forgive? To accept the things you cannot change? To move on amicably? To still love and support each other as you embrace your new lives?” A wing fluttered by.

“Well, yeah, that’s a view. But I was more concerned with looking at the part where I am a middle-aged woman who lost herself again – even after she swore she Read the rest of this entry »

On being born. Or the effects of Neptune in Pisces.

February 9th, 2012

Thunder Bay Starlings by Donna Harvey

Starlings Leaving Thunder Bay by Donna Harvey
A Lesson in Moving On.


A while back some muses played Kick the Can in The Messy Room. It was a spontaneous game of creative play, each muse “kicking” off the muse’s contribution before them with their favorite medium. There were even enough kicks that it merited the title of “project. Then one day, long after the can dust had settled, a muse named Donna showed up and, after rummaging around in some of the Messy Room’s back rooms, she was inspired to take her kick at the can.

Donna’s kick went straight to the moon – to that lunar side of knowingness. (Will be curious who kicks it back from there!) No doubt an angel call landed her in the Messy Room, as I find myself in the company of many these days who are going through what she shares with her kick of the can – self included.

In her email, she wrote, “This was written under the illuminating light of a Cancer Moon going full in Leo wherein my heart will Read the rest of this entry »

What They Say …

October 18th, 2011

Glasses with pink handmade paper

Lately, I find myself thinking about “they says.” You know, those statements that we encounter in life that are spoken as truisms. Perhaps meant to be helpful guides like …

Once a cheater always a cheater.

Hmmm. How helpful is that?

The date of my last post – June 24th – hits me right between the eyes with another “they say.” They say that a blogger should never leave their blog unattended for a long period of time without making an official “I am on a blogging hiatus” statement. They say it’s bad business. (They also say “right between the eyes” is a cliché and writers shouldn’t use clichés.)

Well, I say:
What if
I didn’t know I was going to take a hiatus?
What if
life happened – as it so often does – and I just got caught up in living it and wasn’t in the space to write about it?
What if
I just wanted to BE in the experiences? (Some of which were very cool, by the way, and will be shared here.)
What if I’m not a writer and just a gal with a messy room?

BESIDES, who are THEY anyway? And where do THEY get their information? I mean, they must really get around because they have a lot to Read the rest of this entry »

Gleaning: A Poor Man’s Harvest?

June 24th, 2011

glean 1. To go over a harvested field and gather by hand any usable parts of the crop that remain   2. To collect information in small amounts over a period of time

gleanings 1. Usable parts of a crop that are left behind in a harvested field and can be gathered in by hand   2. Objects or ideas that have been gathered or amassed over a period of time, especially when they form a collection or comprehensive whole

 

Ever throw out a tattered dress or shirt with the buttons still on? Or a pair of pants with a “perfectly good” zipper? (Brief audio flashback to my grandmother’s voice.)

Gleanings. There was a time, not so long ago in our history, when those buttons would have been cut off that dress or shirt and any fabric that could be restored to favor got salvaged into great grandma’s next quilt. And lets not forget the rest of the scraps that found favor as rags for household chores.

Leave it to an ephemera junkie to think about gleaning as she sorts through bags of 100 year old buttons and snaps and hooks and eyes  oh my! on a Sunday afternoon.

Gleanings. Clipped off tattered clothing and passed from Ray’s grandmother’s hands to his mother’s to mine.

“What’s the difference between gleaning and hoarding?” I wonder out loud, as I Read the rest of this entry »

Mermaid Nets and Viking Runes

May 22nd, 2011

“I toss and turn all night, awash in a sea of aquamarine and green, streaked with silver phosphorescence, drifting through the velvet night from a necklace of meteors. I raft down a river of paint, but unlike Huck Finn, my oar is a paintbrush that struggles to free me from whirlpools of cerulean blue. Then day breaks, and I trudge through a black-and-white world in sensible shoes …” • Loretta Benedetto Marvel from Mermaid Nets and Other Twice-Told Tales

 

Loretta and I– along with some Vikings, a mermaid, a couple of muses and a curious kitty – shared coffee after I finished writing in my journal this morning.

As some of you know, 2011 is pushing me to return to a more active participation with my art – to get out of my head and off the pages with it. The past number of months I have been gathering myself and my ephemera and creating a place for it to happen.

I am going to attempt something a bit on the raw side with this post. (Hope I don’t lose you.) I don’t often share my morning writings “as is” in this blog but I feel a collaboration coming on with this Loretta who I have never met but whose story sliced into my artist’s heart with the precision of a surgeon. (I found Loretta in the Read the rest of this entry »

When I was little …

May 9th, 2011

Ray on a Sunday Morning Muse

When I was little …

I examined my bedroom from my bed – upside down.

I viewed other worlds in the television set – while it was off.

And I especially liked to see how many layers of reflections I could capture in a pane of glass …

 

Like this reflection of Ray on a Sunday morning while we were talking about why he loves painting chiaroscuro.

“It’s the focus on light. Without the subject’s relationship to light …” and he was off.

With me right on his heals as we talked about the light and THE LIGHT. About art and spirituality.

As the rising sun angled a beam across the living room, I looked over his shoulder and caught this image in the cabinet behind him.

“Don’t move. I’m getting the camera.” Read the rest of this entry »

DUCK! Kicking the Can Project: Part 3

March 18th, 2011

JMR Productions Site Video on YouTube

If Juliette’s picture is worth a thousand words, what does that make this music video that JMR Productions Site offers as the next kick?

Every object has a story and every story enlists a response. In my décor therapy workshops, I encourage participants to acknowledge the power of the storyteller in the objects found in their homes.

 

“What are you ‘buying into’ when you walk through the door? What subliminal messages are you investing energy in and giving power to? Reinforcing ‘happy stories’ within your four walls activates a powerful template that invites and anchors the positive life experiences you yearn for.”


Using this video to reinforce a point NOT to take our “stories” for granted, which JMR Productions Site so beautifully illustrates with a seemingly unimportant piece of bedroom hardware, qualifies as an easy kick in my book. One that the décor therapist in me simply could not pass up. (I’m even thinkin’ this video might be Read the rest of this entry »

Kicking the Can Project: Part 2

March 10th, 2011

Effects by PhotoFunia-PBR

The creative collaboration continues …

“Ever play “kick the can” when you were a kid? You’d happen on an abandoned can and before you knew it you were three blocks past your house. Maybe you’d even get lucky and meet a friend or two on your journey. One could travel around the world with a couple of friends and a can. That is what we are doing here. Kicking the virtual can …” 

Missed Part 1 of this project? Click Here.

Some pretty wild threads of conversation in The Messy Room’s back room (Facebook’s Inbox) and Juliette’s photo entitled “Random Pastings” inspired this comment from Michele Sevacko …

“… this [inbox] thread has caused me to pause and remember that conversation is also an art … and occurring in many places simultaneously. As it is layered and built on it takes it – and me – to another level.”

Here’s her can, kicked from the woods of North Carolina.

Random Pastings by Juliette Mansour

“Random Pastings” photo by Juliette Mansour

Random Pastings and The Art of Conversation
by Michele Sevacko

As I’ve been going about my “busy-ness” and “being-ness” today, I’ve continued to reflect on the idea of conversation as an art – as I see it showing up in responses to emails, phone calls and Facebook posts.

Using Facebook as one example:
I have found that, just as there are artists who paint, take photos or sculpt things that seem so real you just want to step into the scene, there are people who are so “real” in what they are communicating you feel that you’re there with them – although they can easily be on the other side of the globe. These are my “Realists.”

Then, there are the people that relate just the “facts,” who feel it is their duty to keep us informed. There are also the people that only want to know the “facts.” Collectively, they represent my “Cubists” – not because of a similarity to the Read the rest of this entry »

Kicking the Can: A Collaboration

March 3rd, 2011

Effects by PhotoFunia-PBR

Ever play “kick the can” when you were a kid? You’d happen on an abandoned can and before you knew it you were three blocks past your house. Maybe you’d even get lucky and meet a friend or two on your journey.

One could travel around the world with a couple of friends and a can. And that is what we are doing here. Kicking the virtual can! To follow the can, I have to take you to the time BEFORE the can appeared. It started with a post on ephemera. My Life As Ephemera, actually. The game began with a contribution from Sharron. A mandala that she created from my ephemera shot. And a poem.

I thought, “How delightful! I must share this right away.” But a little voice (you know the one) said, “Wait. There’s more.” So I waited. That’s when the can appeared. Well, really, it was a comment made by Juliette on my second ephemera post, Shoe Boxes & Found Objects, with a link to HER blog where “Voila!” the can appeared.

So, I kicked it. And she kicked it back. Then we sent out a call to see if anyone else wanted to play. (That’s when I discovered The Messy Room has a back room … heheheh … one that I dare not post!)

 

So, here is the first kick from Sharron Cee in South Carolina:

Ephemera to Mandala Composite

 

A Mandala: Created from the shot I used in my post, My Life as Ephemera. Read the rest of this entry »