“She clearly demonstrates how to bring journaling to the next level.” Devra Ursem-Phillips, Visions Unlimited Coaching

WRITING UNDER FIRE

For a demonstration of the first tool at work, pick up Bernadette’s Pages and flip to any page.

Writing under fire provided a journaling intensive that saved my life. (Dramatic but true.) Desperation overflowed from a pretty blue journal with a fluffy white kitty on the cover into comp books, steno pads, loose-leaf paper – and anything else remotely close to paper – when the angst hit. Venting anger. Flushing out remorse. Dear God letters. Ray-you-asshole letters. Therapy work. Dream logs. Synchronicity logs. Gratitude logs. Spirit dialogs. Ego dialogs.

Guess you could say journaling helped me map out the expressway and every alternate route available when confronted with an emotional traffic jam.

Two Gifts And Amplified Synchronicity

In the fall of ’93, Ray gave me a copy of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Struggling with a loss of career direction that frustrated me, an artist’s block that baffled me, and a mild depression I couldn’t shake, I committed to reading the book and writing the morning pages that Julia prescribed.

Christmas of ’93, a friend gave me a journal in which she wrote, “This book belongs to Bernadette and ALL her Angels.” My first entry was January 17, 1994. “I’ve made the decision to use this journal for my morning pages exercise … I pray for a profound occurrence or awakening. These pages may not tell the story but the resulting new life should …”

That Entry Still Blows My Mind

The ‘profound occurrence’ hit the fan when I wrote these words in the final pages of that journal, “Now I know what those incredible waves of sadness were about … when Ray said we needed to talk, all the foreboding came flooding in. I was devastated. Even before he confessed to wanting a separation. To there being another woman.”

My morning pages ritual navigated me beyond that journal’s final entry and into the choppy waters ahead. Some might call it irony. I call it synchronicity – amplified by a Divine Purpose. Ray gifted me with a book that introduced me to the process of writing my way through pain. When he left, Ray gifted me with an opportunity to practice that process in a way that I never could have imagined!

So, What Are Morning Pages?

I’m going to cheat just a little. In Julia Cameron’s words, “… the morning pages are three pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-consciousness: ‘Oh, god, another morning. I have NOTHING to say. I need to wash the curtains. Did I get my laundry yesterday? Blah, blah, blah …’ They might also, more ingloriously, be called brain drain, since that is one of their main functions.”

She also says, “There is no wrong way to do morning pages … (they) are not meant to be art. Or even writing … not supposed to sound smart … nobody is allowed to read (them) except you … Just write three pages … and don’t leaf back.” (Three pages! Who has time for that?)

Why Write Morning Pages?

Julia jokes, “To get to the other side” but is quick to point to their power when she says they get us to “the other side of our fear, of our negativity…” She identifies a voice she calls the Censor – what I frequently refer to as Ego in Bernadette’s Pages – and goes on to claim that, “Beyond the reach of the Censor’s babble we find our own quiet center, where we hear the still small voice that is at once our creator’s and our own.”

Writing three pages of chaotic, mundane babble miraculously cleared the static that interfered with my ability to quiet my mind and consciously connect. Like a child allowed to run off a sugar high after a birthday party, my ego often settled down by the time I got to page number three – after which I found I could be still and receptive to the insights that would change my life.

Scribing Spirit

Had I not established the habit of writing, I would have missed the crossroad – the change of direction – that led to what I know and love today. And I would not have established a comfort zone with the primary medium through which Divine Guidance channeled the lifeline that bumped my journaling to the next level.

Scribing – referred to as “Spirit Dialog” in B’s Pages – was not entirely new to me when I started my morning pages process. I’d had a few ‘scribing outbreaks’ in previous years, outbreaks that I attributed to twelve-step recovery work. (Specifically Step Four’s written inventories and Step Eleven’s prayer and meditation.)

Often, in my practice of Step Eleven (that states, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him …”) I would feel a Divine Presence and an urge to write. Sometimes words flowed onto the page that were not my own. No burning bushes. (Or winning lottery numbers.) But always appropriate to where I was and what I was concerned with.

Writing With Your Other Hand

The same friend who gifted me with that journal also introduced me to the power of using your non-dominant hand to tap into the wisdom of the right brain. She guided me through a series of dialogs during which the right hand (my dominant) wrote out the question and the left hand (my non-dominant) answered. The left hand blurts were surprisingly direct and wise. The process captured my attention but did not go beyond a few sessions. This powerful tool reemerged as a lifeline after Ray’s ‘announcement.’

You don’t have to understand how the right brain works to experience its effect. Creative or not, we all intuitively dip into it on an unconscious level. But, if you want to harness its power more consciously, I suggest you read Lucia Capacchione’s, The Power of Your Other Hand as well as the classic, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. These books direct you to a whole new way of seeing and experiencing the world.

A Shortcut

My writing, today, evolves to fit life circumstances and time constraints but remains a foundational cornerstone; a primary tool I use to quickly process and move through life’s stuff. Issues that show up on paper often do not have to remain as long, drawn out classroom experiences. Ray and I even share our writings. At crucial times, they act as springboards for some pretty amazing communication and we grow together in ways that I am grateful for. (I do not advise that you share your writing casually, however. Ray and I have learned how to hear past the guilt and fear that sometimes gets tossed onto the pages. We are also very good at knowing when to call in a referee!)

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Try It. You Might Like It.

 

Why wait for pain to motivate you when guidance is ‘at hand?’ Try these two very complimentary journaling tools and see what happens. Let morning pages prime the pump and other-hand writing set the stage for your own insightful ‘blurts.’

Or, use any of the following nine tools in this Companion Guide as springboards for writing under fire. (Psst. The ruled margins in Bernadette’s Pages are an invitation to make this process your own!)

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A Few “Under Fire” Samples

• Pgs. 1 – 230 – Take your pick!
• Pg. 28 – Creative Venting: “Last night I tore up the copy of The Artist’s Way that Ray gave me. Scribbled commentaries, in crayon, on the pages. Things I have been wanting to …”
• Pg. 39, 40, 156, 184 – Spirit Dialogs: Other Hand Writing
• Pg. 44 – Reading Writing: “ Okay, I’ve gone back and read quite a few pages from my journal. I see a very unhappy woman in …”
• Pg. 52, 57, 73, 112, 129 – Dreamlogs
• Pg. 93 – Letters: “Ray, This is the day you asked me to marry you nineteen years ago. Who would have guessed I’d be …”
• Pg. 131 – Processing Fears: “Free flow thoughts and feelings, resulting from kissing Eric …”
• Pg. 148 – Prefatory Writing: “… need to take notes on some of the things I want to say to Ray after dinner Tuesday …”

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A Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages – Copyright 2008

Click for Tool #2: ReFraming

Did you miss it? CLICK HERE to see our 2-minute video book trailer!

 

 

 

So, here is where you get to jump in and share your experiences with journaling – or ask questions about Tool #1 and B’s Pages.

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Tags: betrayal, journaling, relationships, spirit dialog

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