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Falling


  • Then & Now Project: Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. Doses Finasteride (Propecia) work, This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format, Finasteride (Propecia) images. Finasteride (Propecia) description, My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, herbal Finasteride (Propecia), Finasteride (Propecia) schedule, or might. Enjoy!


 

FALLING

Journal, australia, uk, us, usa, Buy no prescription Finasteride (Propecia) online, March 3, 1994 • “Missed a day in my journal and a hell of a one at that, online Finasteride (Propecia) without a prescription. Ordering Finasteride (Propecia) online, Now I know what those incredible waves of sadness were about on my flight back from the gift show in New York. Why I felt like crying when the plane landed, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. The weird irritation that surfaced when Ray picked me up in the terminal, Finasteride (Propecia) used for. Purchase Finasteride (Propecia) for sale, He felt like a stranger. Distant, Finasteride (Propecia) duration, Finasteride (Propecia) from canada, in a way I couldn’t put my finger on …”

2010: Ever fall. Did you see it coming? Physical falls are always curious, discount Finasteride (Propecia). Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, It’s like time slows to witness the tumble as you try to catch yourself. Finasteride (Propecia) wiki, It’s amazing how many thoughts can go through your mind in a manner of seconds. You are both victim and observer as you find yourself suddenly assessing your body’s relationship with gravity, Finasteride (Propecia) reviews, Low dose Finasteride (Propecia), hard surfaces and sharp objects.
“Last night, after Finasteride (Propecia), Generic Finasteride (Propecia), when he said we needed to talk, all the foreboding came flooding in, Finasteride (Propecia) trusted pharmacy reviews. Buy cheap Finasteride (Propecia) no rx, I was devastated. Even before he confessed to wanting a separation, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. To there being another woman, taking Finasteride (Propecia). Online buying Finasteride (Propecia), And right now I feel so crazy with it – I just want to die!”

2010: I chose the word “falling” for my first journal entry because Ray’s leaving felt a lot like that to me. I sensed precariousness in our marriage, Finasteride (Propecia) pictures, Where can i order Finasteride (Propecia) without prescription, like walking along the edge of a ravine at dusk but, honestly, Finasteride (Propecia) price, About Finasteride (Propecia), I thought we were maintaining our balance. When he confessed to wanting a separation, Finasteride (Propecia) dosage, Rx free Finasteride (Propecia), I slipped over the edge and moved into a dimension of time for which I have no words. Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, It took me nine months to land.

What kind of thoughts do you have while in an emotional fall, Finasteride (Propecia) without prescription. Get Finasteride (Propecia),
Here are a few of mine from that first day.

Gravity

“I can’t imagine being without him, Finasteride (Propecia) interactions. Finasteride (Propecia) overnight, We’ve been through so much together. I’m willing to bet this other woman would have bailed out on him years ago, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. God, online buy Finasteride (Propecia) without a prescription, Effects of Finasteride (Propecia), you saved us for this?”

Hard Surfaces
“I can’t compete with this woman. She has a clean slate. An untarnished mirror. He can look into her eyes and see a new man – a new life reflected back.”

And Sharp Objects
“… if I tell him to get out now – what if he moves in with her. Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, God, I can’t stand the thought that the last time we made love was the last time. If I force him to leave, I might lose any chance of winning back his heart.”

 

What kind of action do you take while in an emotional fall?
Here are two of mine from that first day.

Running with Scissors

“I was obsessed with getting my hair cut. Wanted it all chopped off. Maybe I did it “at Ray” because he loves long hair. As a way to shock him, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. To show him how bad I felt.”

“Ray was shaken when I walked in the door ... I think it concerned him that I would do something so extreme as having my hair cut inches from my scalp. He was carefully polite. Like when you are talking someone off a ledge. He should be concerned – dammit.”


And Wailing at God
Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, “God, tell me what to do. You know what I want. You know what I need. Can I trust You. I’m going to be making some pretty major decisions. Give me the strength, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. I’ve never hurt so bad. And I am really pissed off with You!”

 

How do you fall. Have you fallen recently. Are you healing from a fall. Feel free to share your thoughts.



  • About This Post: I’m attempting to merge the nine months recorded in Bernadette’s Pages Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale, with the present here – but still can’t figure out how to format it in a neat and tidy way. So, it’s probably going to be raw and choppy in places. I’ll throw in some quotes and bullets to guide you along. If I lose you somewhere, let me know. I’ll come back to get you.


 

UPDATE: March 3, 2012:


So, “Falling” today means something entirely different than what I thought. It is a more the “faith-filled” leap into the void of the unknown, Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale. There is a forgiveness found in accepting the things one cannot change. What would Bernadette THEN think about Bernadette NOW … AGAIN. She would be happy that SHE is still there for HER … even though it might be a bit MESSY. On THIS day of 2012, she and Ray are at peace FINALLY with accepting that they can separate BECAUSE they love each other … and it only took another 18 years in the marriage to get here. Who’d a thunk?. (more to come)


The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it. Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD.

You CAN get here from there!

Excerpts ©2006 from Bernadette’s Pages: An Intimate Crossroad

If you like this then LIKE this and SHARE it. Together we grow!.

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21 thoughts on “Finasteride (Propecia) For Sale

    • August 21, 2010 at 9:11 am
      Permalink

      So … I “liked” myself. How cool of Facebook to encourage me to do that! 🙂

      • March 4, 2012 at 1:04 am
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        So, “Falling” today means something entirely different than what I thought. It is a more the “faith-filled” leap into the void of the unknown. There is a forgiveness found in accepting the things one cannot change. What would Bernadette THEN think about Bernadette NOW … AGAIN? She would be happy that SHE is still there for HER … even though it might be a bit MESSY! On THIS day of 2012, she and Ray are at peace FINALLY with accepting that they can separate BECAUSE they love each other … who’d a thunk??

        • March 5, 2012 at 9:00 am
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          I saw a leaf fall off a tree today. No other leaves fell. It wasn’t a particularly windy day. I wondered then, if it was a rogue leaf. A pioneer for change. Had this leaf decided that life on his tree had run its course? Perhaps, the leaf was ready for something more. Ready to branch out, and take the leap for something that would allow it to grow beyond the attachments and patterns that kept it rooted to its benefactor.

          What about his buddies, that remained rooted, turning their “blades” on change? Testimony certainly, to their fears and of their allegiance to the tree. What are they thinking? Did they have a town meeting, Did they oppose or did they endorse, the recklessness of the rogue leaf?

          So what now? The leaf has touched down. Clearly, the leaf looks pretty sad. Does the leaf think it has made a terrible mistake? Is its anxiety, only exacerbated by the fact that it can’t get back on the tree, much less, re-root itself to its old branch? It can’t be with his old buddies anymore. Separated from what it knew best. From what was familiar. From its benefactor. Did the leaf curse itself for being such a fool, for making such leap of faith. Did the leaf agonize, over last chances, lost opportunities? Or, did the leaf remain where it fell and give up hope?

          By appearances, it did not.

          From where I sat:

          It seemed, as if the leaf had taken this stolen moment, having fallen far from the tree, to indulge his senses, and revel in the scenery from this new perspective.

          Oddly enough, as if on cue, a rogue wind blew in and lifted the leaf, way high up, higher even, than the tree that it just left, and I am sure I could hear the tree vibrate in delight for the courage of the leaf.
          The last time I saw the leaf, it had fallen softly, on the buoyant pond, near the bulrushes and the dragonflies, and drifted bravely, into its future.

          Reward Courage

        • March 12, 2012 at 8:45 pm
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          It has been said that the most important thing in life is to be yourself. Unless of course, you can be Batman. Always choose Batman. With the view from the edge of the cliff where I am standing, it seems to me, to be a fitting send off. In my life though, depending on whether I can find both of my cowboy boots or not, I prefer being that of Bonanza Jellybean. The cliff would seem much less daunting when you can have both gun blazing while screaming, YAHOO, as you step over the edge and into the abyss.
          xo

        • March 14, 2012 at 10:16 pm
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          Tom Robbins wrote, “If you can tell me the purpose of the moon, I will tell you how to make love stay.”

          I have spent my life trying to answer just that. Looking at the moon this morning, it was half full. Or perhaps, half empty, depending on your outlook. Whatever it might look to you, it was clear to me, that whatever it is that is unfolding, it is only half told.

          We are moving, as the moon waxes and wanes, as the tides ebb and flow and as we teeter back and forth between hanging on and letting go.

          Where the sun speaks of events and moments, the moon will speak of emotion, endings and beginnings. We find ourselves now between a full moon and a new moon. Between an ending and a beginning. Where emotions have peaked and there are too many ducks to get in a row and this place now at the half moon, where we find ourselves with half of an idea, perhaps half a plan and probably half the time we feel that we need to bring it all together. And we can’t forget about, one big &^%$%^&! cliff.

          Trust. The moon is working your emotions, and Pluto, well, Pluto is working the soul. Have faith in that. They are relentless. It may take a few klunks, but they will get you there.

          So all this waxing and waning, ebbing and flowing, and hanging on and letting go keeps us shifting towards what it is that we want in our life, what we really want in our heart of hearts. Towards forgiving, towards loving who we are, towards loving others and towards something that is right up our alley

          The moon will not stop. It will keep you moving forward. I promise you, it will bring you home.

          So what is the purpose of the moon? The purpose of the moon is to follow you home. And the moon will see that you get there.

          Interesting, the saying “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.” The moon will shine on you with its powerful light and show you exactly, how to love yourself first. Like a Pizza Pie.

          Oddly enough, if you know how to love yourself, you can make love stay, Forever.
          Thank you Mr. Robbins.
          That was my best idea on the purpose of the moon.
          Accidently too, was my best idea on how to make love stay.

          Love Donna

          • March 17, 2012 at 8:00 pm
            Permalink

            Donna, I just saw this tonight … and tonight is the night that I needed to read your words.

            “We find ourselves now between a full moon and a new moon. Between an ending and a beginning. Where emotions have peaked and there are too many ducks to get in a row and this place now at the half moon, where we find ourselves with half of an idea, perhaps half a plan and probably half the time we feel that we need to bring it all together. And we can’t forget about, one big &^%$%^&! cliff.
            TRUST.”

            And, “Oddly enough, if you know how to love yourself, you can make love stay, Forever.”

            Brilliant, my dear … and SO needed right now on so many levels! Thank you! 🙂

            • March 18, 2012 at 11:29 am
              Permalink

              You know, you speak of journaling with such reverence and perhaps one of the greatest therapies in understanding and exploring the deeper meaning of what you do and why you do it and perhaps even, a journey in undoing it.
              I suppose a journal is much like a conversation with yourself, or your higher self. A journey. A road that goes where your heart only knows.
              I would love to journal. I have tried all my life to journal. Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself because I can’t or more likely I won’t journal. So I go out and buy myself another journal and attempt another journal entry. The best I can do with it, is to draw a tree on the blank first page. And then nothing. I have nothing to say to the empty pages. Back on the shelf it goes. That certainly does not mean that I don’t have words dancing in my head. I do. Lots of them.
              I have 63 journals sitting on my shelf with the only entry being that of a tree. I look at them and I am sad for this, what seems to me, to be an abandoned forest.
              It baffles me to no end because my need to write is so great.
              I find myself instead, picking random names out of a phone book, or newspaper classifieds where they are selling the contents of their house, or even an obituary. I have written more emails than I can say. To strangers mostly. I get so afraid that I am preaching otherwise. And now to this Messy Room.
              I am driven by my emotions certainly, and an insatiable curiosity of this Universe. I am not sure that it is my ego, or if I am looking for some kind of validation out there, because I can’t find it in here. I am not sure if I am guided to where I my words will fall. Most of the time, I don’t even know where these words come from. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly where they come from. I am not the Author.
              You know they say that at first you will get a tap on the shoulder, then will come a soft whisper in your ear, and then if you still aren’t listening you will get a brick on the side of your head. A klunk. Well, I got the brick a week or so ago. I was pushed out of bed by some Devine invisible force and was awakenend by the screaming of what seemed like 1000 angels, a 1000 bricks all at once, to the words “WRITE, YOU ARE BEING ISOLATED SO YOU CAN WRITE!!!” I can tell you, that it wasn’t their pretty song voices either, but their outside voices. I cried. I didn’t want to be isolated anymore. But more than anything, I trust. It has been proven to me time and time again, that the Universe does know what I need. So I am writing now.
              I believe that I have found myself in Bernadette’s Messy Room so I COULD write. Perhaps it is not the great american novel I thought that I could write, but in some Devine way I am for the first time NOT the square peg trying to force myself into some obscure shape. For the first time, I feel like I fit.
              You are the real Angel Bernadette, you are the difference from a lifetime of wanting for someone to save me because I didn’t feel strong enough, to knowing that I have everything I need to save myself, and that I am stronger than I know.
              I am so grateful to you, the Universe, and the 1000 Angels, the 1000 bricks, that my words, were so timely in making there way to you.
              love u xo

  • March 4, 2010 at 10:33 pm
    Permalink

    Thanks for giving us a place to be vulnerable. It’s scary putting this out there and it pains me sometimes to recall… but… When my ex left the relationship, it didn’t feel like falling. It felt more like someone pushed me off a cliff! I was so used to controlling everything so that I wouldn’t be hurt, so it was instinctive for me to grab the first rock or branch I could and I hung on for dear life. I spent weeks screaming, “help me get back up!” And it took me months to see that no one would save me. I had to save myself. Someone then said to me that if I looked below I might be surprised… and I did. Below me was a ledge only two feet below. I thought letting go meant falling to my death, but there was this ledge. I let the branch bend until I felt my tiptoes hit the ground. I sat there on this ledge crying for days. I wanted to climb back up but every time I tried, I failed. Then someone else asked me to consider trust. I got up from my fetal position on the ledge and started to look for other paths to climb. It took me quite a while, but I started. The paths still hurt my feet sometimes, but I’m doing it. Thanks!

    • March 8, 2010 at 7:51 pm
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      You are VERY welcome. Glad you’re off the ledge and out exploring!

  • March 5, 2010 at 1:57 pm
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    I can understand in so many ways why you’re sharing yours and Ray’s story. I think though it’s hard in today’s society where people feel everything is throw away. Even marriage.

    I also think that, in my own marriage, I can read what you wrote and relate in some ways … due to other circumstances we faced … and had that feeling of “Falling” or other times “Tumbling.” (a really good word.)

    I often think too, doing the work was so very hard … taking the chance to say “What now?” then working through it and communicating what needs to happen to succeed or just live with each other. It’s not easy. Marriages that last for years are never without complications in them.

    You know too when we take those vows … do we really get it then?? I know for us we often talk about that. How naive we were back then … I often say though what saved us is that we were friends before we got married … we could talk no matter what the situation was. 32 yrs later and due to my health and his … all of that I know has put us on a new level and we are still learning. I often think no one is perfect … nor is a marriage. Because we all have flaws … all of us.

    It’s funny; I often think it’s like “running with scissors!” Because sometimes he is frustrating as hell and I wonder how do I live with this man! 🙂 Other times I think oh my gosh I am so blessed we stuck it out and are still together. But then I have never worked so hard in my life to hang on to something either.

    So, it takes a ton of compassion to talk about you and Ray. I think divorce is prevalent and comes up a lot … You guys came through really hard times and there are lessons to share. Those are the blessing to those who read and share. We all can learn from them.

    Hugs, Kerry
    http://iftheresonethingiknow.blogspot.com/

    • March 8, 2010 at 7:53 pm
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      Lots of good food for thought, Kerry. I think when we take those vows we can’t REALLY get it … that apparently comes later!

  • March 8, 2010 at 9:18 am
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    I LOVE the raw and amazing truth of Bernadette and Ray’s journey and how it has made me reflect on my life. I have been humbled and yes have had those moments of falling. I also have learned when I am fully in motion with the Universe the fall is softened and the lesson is learned faster. As I journal daily too much is revealed and am happily surprised to find out what “the fall” was to teach me.

    Thanks for keeping us honest and I love this the fact this book is being “blogged” as there are so many gems in it a regular reminder of some of them is very welcomed.

    All the best,

    Gordon

    • March 8, 2010 at 7:48 pm
      Permalink

      Gordon! What a treat to find you here. I love it when you attach your energy of support … you are so uplifting. Please come back and share your wisdom, (And link your site if you’d like!) I’m just getting warmed up. Though I think I must be crazy for doing this … I’m huffing and puffing trying to keep up with THAT Bernadette. She was a lot younger 🙂

      • March 8, 2010 at 7:49 pm
        Permalink

        DUH! I see you have linked your site. Check this guy out folks! He’s awesome.

  • March 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm
    Permalink

    Very interesting! I like this idea!

    • March 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm
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      Thanks, Sheila! Kinda painted myself into a corner on this one, eh? Lemons or lemonade! 🙂

  • March 4, 2013 at 10:29 am
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    Well, Lemons or Lemonade. It has been one full year today. What did you come up with Bernadette?
    I suspect you are looking up at the precipice that you have just taken a great fall from, tasting not the bitterness of lemons nor the sickly sweetness of lemonade but perhaps found yourself tasting something more extraordinary than you ever would have conceived of just a short year ago. Perhaps not standing “for” the Lemonade nor “against” the Lemons. But you have indeed, found yourself standing.
    Atta Girl!
    Love u xo

    • March 6, 2013 at 4:10 pm
      Permalink

      You are so right, my dear. Somewhere indescribable though not quite yet delicious … more TRUE to my process and baffling to those around me, I suspect. That is why I have a MESsy roOM! xo:)

  • March 4, 2013 at 1:53 pm
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    It is interesting, in the “aftermath” of the “Letting Go”, that I am not hungry or cold nor do I thirst for water. Testimony I suppose, to the inadequacy of the self-prescribed outcomes I have envisioned for myself as gravity pulled me faster and further away from the veil.
    Whether you have let go of a branch that has only “just” sustained you and “made do” for far past its sell by date, or whether it is the act of scraping the last of the gum off your shoe, that has kept you from gliding across the floor, (read dancing) it is exhilarating to discover that I am brave and “making do” no longer is an option and only an opportunity to be brave again. (Maybe next time without the whining.) xo

    • March 6, 2013 at 4:15 pm
      Permalink

      How do you do that? I can only sit and quietly ponder your words … while nodding … and with a BIG smile for opportunities to be brave. Without the whining? Heheheheh … I will follow you on that one. xo

Comments are closed.