- Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO
Journal, March 13, 1994 • “The events of late yesterday morning are racing through my mind. Ray and I were having such a good talk. There was a feeling of hope. Then bam! How something can get out of hand so fast! I feel so bad about what happened …”
“Damn. Why couldn’t he have just lied? How could I have known about the flowers he sent her? It came through like a bolt of lightning. A lousy time to be telepathic! Why did I even ask him?”
2010: My Angels had me pegged on that one. I was easing in. Trying to figure out how to change his mind. Campaigning, you could say. That teleflora-flash is what I call a psychic slap, a “Don’t run back into the burning building, Bernadette. We have a Plan.”
I always tell people I work with that they don’t have to go looking. What they need to know will come to them when they need to know it. Information that finds us ‘lightens” us. It’s an invitation to remember that we are not alone and we have a choice to participate in a Divine ordering. “Snoopy” info just serves to anchor in the very fears we think we can escape in “learning the facts.”
Think about it. Ever stumble across something when you weren’t looking? Trust me, I was looking in the opposite direction of those flowers that morning with Ray. (I have to laugh at the shocked look on his face. He actually did think I had been snooping!)
A person. A book. A conversation. A billboard. A psychic slap. The signs are everywhere!
“Tonight, when Peg and I were at the Italian restaurant with Cliff and Natalie, I kept wondering what I would do if I saw them walk in – wondering what part of town she lives in – wondering if a romantic dinner went with those damn flowers!”
“He has to move out and I have to be firm in that. I’ve already lost him. Getting him out of the house just makes it official and will start getting me through those “firsts” without him. That’s why I had to know about the flowers. Why you guys [angels] had to tell me. I needed to see …”
2010: Ah! Now I know why I had to know. Even though it hurt like hell, I knew Who was talking. I had to trust the process. I could have done some real damage had fear and I been looking for those flowers!
So, the message in excerpt one? Wait to receive. In excerpt two? Ask what to do with what you get.
- Post Number Nine: I’m behind. Writing under the wire. Have had to re-think my posting schedule a little – because I am now living the life I feared was being taken away back then! (Plus, my other muses are starting to feel abandoned.) So, I am going for the highlights folks. With my Angel’s permission, of course!
- A Funny Thought: If I could go back in time, right now, I would tell Bernadette that she should hold onto her hat because this is just the beginning of her psychic flashes. And I would also tell her to be grateful – they are way more preferable to hot flashes!
- About This Post: I’m attempting to merge the nine months recorded in Bernadette’s Pages with the present here – but still can’t figure out how to format it in a neat and tidy way. So, it’s probably going to be raw and choppy in places. I’ll throw in some quotes and bullets to guide you along. If I lose you somewhere, let me know. I’ll come back to get you.
- If you landed in the middle of this project: Click here to start at the beginning!
The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it! Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD. You CAN get here from there!
Excerpts ©2006 from Bernadette’s Pages: An Intimate Crossroad
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