Surrender • charcoal on Bernadette’s Pages substrate; page 63
by Bernadette Rose Smith
Ever listen to your thoughts and marvel at how persistently they weave into stories you tell yourself? Stories that do not serve you well? Especially in times of transition?
How happy would your dreams become if you were not the one who gave the “proper role” to every figure which the dream contained. – A Course In Miracles
I woke up this morning with a thought.
“Surrender that.“ whispered the angel.
“What?” I asked.
“That ‘My God, sideswiped again, I’m not enough’ story.” chuckled the angel.
“Oh? You mean the ‘How could I have missed this, how dense am I that it took another eighteen years of marriage to figure this out, I’m alone again‘ thought?” I snapped.
“My dear, you had so many more thoughts attached to that one. You didn’t notice the storyteller revving up? You were on Chapter 14 before I could get a word in edgewise.” announced another angelic chuckle.
“How can you laugh?” I asked, somewhat irked. “You were around in ’94. Don’t you think this is a little ridiculous for two people to be this far off base with each other?”
“What? Ridiculous to forgive? To accept the things you cannot change? To move on amicably? To still love and support each other as you embrace your new lives?” A wing fluttered by.
“Well, yeah, that’s a view. But I was more concerned with looking at the part where I am a middle-aged woman who lost herself again – even after she swore she wouldn’t. And how this is not a time to be starting over. I should be reaping the harvest.” I said, feeling somewhat diminished in my position.
“How do you know that, dear?” asked the angel.
“Know what?” I asked back.
“Any of that? Or the thousand thoughts you had to support that novel you were writing before the sun rose? The one that has you frowning so.” continued the chuckling.
“Well, I don’t see your point. Besides, you are an angel and what do you know about what it is like to be in a body with a body of concerns? If you are so smart, tell me which of the thousand thoughts to surrender then. You obviously heard them better than me.“ I harrumphed.
“Lets start with ALL of them.” beamed the angel. “You will be contacted as to which ones will be of service to your new life.”
“Well, then what am I supposed to do with today?” I wondered out loud as the cats eyed me for promise of breakfast.
“Tell no stories. Surrender your thoughts.” whispered the angel.
“How do I know what thoughts are stories?” I whispered back.
“Lets start with ALL of them.” said the angel.
“You said that already.” I retorted.
“I know. And you retell your stories, dear.” fluttered the wing. “Just for today, see all thoughts as a story and know that you have the power to edit. So pay attention or you will miss the life you are meant to have while you are writing that novel.”
So, tell me I am not alone with this penchant for storytelling. (That would be a story, right?) Any storytellers out there struggling with stories that don’t serve? Share them here if you like! Or just share your storytelling experience.
The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it! Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD. You CAN get here from there!
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