Surrendering: the stories we tell

Surrender the Stories: charcoal by bernadette rose smith

Surrender • charcoal on Bernadette’s Pages substrate; page 63
by Bernadette Rose Smith


Ever listen to your thoughts and marvel at how persistently they weave into stories you tell yourself? Stories that do not serve you well? Especially in times of transition?

How happy would your dreams become if you were not the one who gave the “proper role” to every figure which the dream contained. – A Course In Miracles

I woke up this morning with a thought.

“Surrender that.“ whispered the angel.

“What?” I asked.

That ‘My God, sideswiped again, I’m not enough’ story.” chuckled the angel.

“Oh? You mean the ‘How could I have missed this, how dense am I that it took another eighteen years of marriage to figure this out, I’m alone again thought?” I snapped.

“My dear, you had so many more thoughts attached to that one. You didn’t notice the storyteller revving up? You were on Chapter 14 before I could get a word in edgewise.” announced another angelic chuckle.

“How can you laugh?” I asked, somewhat irked. “You were around in ’94. Don’t you think this is a little ridiculous for two people to be this far off base with each other?”

“What? Ridiculous to forgive? To accept the things you cannot change? To move on amicably? To still love and support each other as you embrace your new lives?” A wing fluttered by.

“Well, yeah, that’s a view. But I was more concerned with looking at the part where I am a middle-aged woman who lost herself again – even after she swore she wouldn’t. And how this is not a time to be starting over. I should be reaping the harvest.” I said, feeling somewhat diminished in my position.

“How do you know that, dear?” asked the angel.

“Know what?” I asked back.

“Any of that? Or the thousand thoughts you had to support that novel you were writing before the sun rose? The one that has you frowning so.” continued the chuckling.

“Well, I don’t see your point. Besides, you are an angel and what do you know about what it is like to be in a body with a body of concerns? If you are so smart, tell me which of the thousand thoughts to surrender then. You obviously heard them better than me.“ I harrumphed.

“Lets start with ALL of them.” beamed the angel. “You will be contacted as to which ones will be of service to your new life.”

“Well, then what am I supposed to do with today?” I wondered out loud as the cats eyed me for promise of breakfast.

“Tell no stories. Surrender your thoughts.” whispered the angel.

“How do I know what thoughts are stories?” I whispered back.

“Lets start with ALL of them.” said the angel.

“You said that already.” I retorted.

“I know. And you retell your stories, dear.” fluttered the wing. “Just for today, see all thoughts as a story and know that you have the power to edit. So pay attention or you will miss the life you are meant to have while you are writing that novel.”


So, tell me I am not alone with this penchant for storytelling. (That would be a story, right?) Any storytellers out there struggling with stories that don’t serve? Share them here if you like! Or just share your storytelling experience.


The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it! Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD. You CAN get here from there!

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20 thoughts on “Surrendering: the stories we tell

  • March 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    When you surrender your thoughts, you become fully present in your body. Once you’re fully present, you become “grounded”. In that groundedness you feel yourself centered in peace & serenity… With that sense of peace & serenity, you remember the work has already been done. You already forgave it forward…. there is nothing left to forgive… <3

    • March 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      A GOOD story to stick with … thank you, Michele. 🙂

  • March 18, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    Angels are so wise, they almost always say the sweetest kind of thing. although I do enjoy it when you whine.
    You are not alone Bernadette. I am in the same place at the exact moment in time.
    It’s all new. To me anyway it’s all new. We are in a pretty special place and time though. It seems to me there is a huge feeling of urgency that we have to get it together or we are @#@###!! From what I heard, the first ones through the wall, always gets a bit bloody.
    Your story is a great one Bernadette. From the hard place you came, your story speaks from the softest place of Heart and Soul. Keep on keepin on because I am sure it will be a brilliant, funny and an inspiring journey for all when it is finished.
    Emotions are so easily misunderstood. Sometimes you would think that they are your curse, I have come to learn that they are a gift. You have a gift. A big wave I know, but it’s in you. Really. It’s in you. xo

    From Star Trek.
    Lieutenant Commander Data: Captain, I believe I am feeling… anxiety. It is an intriguing sensation. A most distracting…
    Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Data, I’m sure it’s a fascinating experience, but perhaps you should deactivate your emotion chip for now.
    Lieutenant Commander Data: Good idea, sir.
    Lieutenant Commander Data: Done.
    Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Data, there are times that I envy you.

    Love the Surrender.xo

    • March 19, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      ALWAYS …always … always … did I say always? … LOVE your comments, dear! 🙂 So glad our paths merged … well, okay, more like waves crashing … xo

  • March 18, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Love the picture and the surrender. I’m still too stuck trying to “surrender the idea of permanence” much less my own thoughts and stories. Every time I attempt to write about my feelings, I get a @#$@ it response from my ego and don’t do a thing except stay stuck. So, for now, I’ll just follow you all as you share. Thanks for sharing! hugs

    • March 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Ahhhh … “surrender the idea of permanence” is a tough one, sweetie. But you WILL get there! One day we’ll have to pull the cards out and see what we have, eh?

  • March 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    “I am a middle-aged woman who lost herself again “. No, my dear, you have found yourself again.

    How long does it take a catapillar to make a chrysalis and turn into a beautiful butterfly? I don’t know. I just know it takes time for us to wind our way through life to become what we are supposed to be. So take heart and know you are not alone. All my love to you both!

    • March 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Chrissie! MWAH!!!

  • March 19, 2012 at 11:40 am

    Wow, that dialogue sounds SO familiar. And I LOVE that artwork! Surrendering every single thought…one finds him/herSELF again…and again …and again….and again!

    • March 19, 2012 at 8:11 pm

      Thanks, Juliette … I loved DOING that artwork. It so expresses that feeling of absolute surrender to me … and funny I did it on a page where I had journaled about sabotaging myself. 🙂 As to the voices in our head … well, that’s another story! xo

  • March 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    So here we find ourselves at the Crossroad. Where rubber meets the road. So we cried and we whined. Now we look at ourselves again and whine a little bit more. Somewhere though, from the depths of our souls comes the greatest ##$#$%$#**% you speech of all time. What’s different this time. The difference is that the speech is meant for nobody but ourselves. It is the speech meant to unparalize or uncripple us. It is the speech that will ultimately drive us out of our catatonic state. Like a deer in the headlights we a shaken out of this sta

    • March 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      Ask. Knock. Seek. … SPEAK!! 🙂

  • March 20, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    Mecury retrograde. Not meant to be

    • March 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Patience, dear. Soon enough. 🙂

  • March 24, 2012 at 11:45 am

    It is oddly strange how the Universe can so easily know when it is “Time”. It seems that it is “time” now for the Universe to sweep in and remove the things in my life that do not serve me anymore. I have struggled with attachments for a long time. I have processed fear until my head was ready to fall off. I have dealt with isolation, perhaps a part of my self sabotage techniques. Who knows what I am capable of. I have suffered loss of kids, family, lovers and friends. I have been misplaced and replaced and replaced again and I have endured a broken heart for what seems to be a lifetime. Perhaps I got lost in the Karmic Loop. Today though, I got the joke. Today I learrned the lesson that I spent a lifetime trying to learn. And today, with the blindness that comes with age, today, I can see better than I ever have. Today I am allowing to love myself more than suffering with the pain of not being loved enough. I am not infallible nor though, am to be blamed for the state of the Universe. So with the “removal”, comes the letting go. With the letting go certainly, there is freedom and with freedom comes new lessons on learning to fly.
    So at 55, I find myself sitting on the Tarmac waiting to fly, without a job, without a home without money, without friends and without the hope that someone will come and save me. That is the lesson you know, I have learned that I don’t need saving. Nobody is a victim. Nobody really needs saving. I was already saved many times. That never worked for me. You come to learn that being saved is a high price to pay for a ticket to Paradise. It is in us, to save ourselves. It is in us to save ourselves exactly the way we need saving. Like the saying “a perfect save.”
    So it seems I got the long awaited, OK from the Universe. I swear I could feel the pat on my behind as the Universe has set me off on my own. “OK, off you go now”
    Don’t get me started on how much whining I did with that send off.
    Writing, is where my heart is. What to write about is where the confusion is. and here on this earth right here and right now is where my life is.
    It’s a good one. I’m “going in” for the save.
    Perhaps I will find myself soon living beyond the borders of Canada where the options here seem to be all of the same likeness of Wisconsin to me.
    I have my “Cowgirl Tough” t-shirt and my cowboy belt buckle on the ready and until the fallout of what has just been swept through the masses has stilled enough, the clarity will come and I have no doubt that I will know exactly what to do when that time comes. I am almost there. I can feel the energy infuse itself back into my body. I can hear the roar of the next giant wave. It’s coming. We have learned to ride the waves. It’s just like flying.

    • March 24, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      “You come to learn that being saved is a high price to pay for a ticket to Paradise. It is in us, to save ourselves. It is in us to save ourselves exactly the way we need saving. Like the saying “a perfect save.”” SO, love that my dear! And when we know that, we find Paradise is within …

      And I find the converse is true as well; to save another, so we can have ours, rarely gets them to THEIR paradise … hehehehe … as we don’t know what their “perfect save” looks like either. xo

      • March 25, 2012 at 9:57 am

        Ya that is exactly true Bernadette.
        Being Batman hardly does anybody any favours these days.
        Although I would say that it would be pretty sexy to be gently lowered by some caped crusader into their best idea of what Paradise is, with a perfect body and a grappling hook. Ultimately though, it is an “imperfect understanding of where saves come from.”
        How many times has your mother said to you “Why don’t you quit that nonense (the thing you love), Uncle Bob got a “good” job for you at the Post Office.”
        How many times have we been “saved” from doing the thing that we love.
        Fear gets you a false security. And a false security will get you somebody else’s Paradise.

  • March 24, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Funny I always thought there were not enough words in me to write a book. I find now that there are not enough blank pages to write a book.

    • March 24, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      More pages more pages!!!!!

  • April 19, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Hey Bernadette,

    I have found myself in the most unlikely of places. It seems the Universe has kidnapped me yet again, and plunked me far from
    the path I was travelling on. Or more likely, far from the road that I wanted to be on.
    It has led me to where I suspect I am most needed and not where I thought I most needed to be.
    The Universe has a funny way of operating.

    It will always offer up more than one option. It will always allow you to make a choice.

    It will always give you the opportunity to choose wisely.

    I hope I am choosing wisely. I think I am. For now I am believing that this is where I need to be.

    Is my heart in it? Absolutely. It is my heart that made the choice.
    The PLAY thing helps huge.

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