Good Grief. Don’t Change the Channel.

Good grief. Don't change the channel.

A wise woman once told me that the higher purpose of grief is to recognize our longing for profound love.

Picture this. You’re watching your favorite television show – maybe one of the final episodes for the season – and you lose the signal. What do you do?

a.) Curse the station.
b.) Hit mute and stare in disbelief at the static, hoping the signal will reset on its own.
c.) Dive across the room, grab the tin-foiled rabbit ears, and strike a statue of liberty pose.
d.) Get up and do something else.
e.) All of the above, not necessarily in that order and possibly on rotation.

When someone you love dies, you lose their signal and, after the shock, sadness sets in. Somewhere beyond the cursing, muting and staring you start feeling the gravitational pull of grief. This is when societal intimation encourages you to “get up and do something else.” After all, if you get sucked in too deeply, you might crash. Better to stay busy while the gravity field weakens.

Except this gravity doesn’t weaken without the grace of a higher purpose.

Everyone is a channel for God – if you’re willing to listen to everyone. But you’re not. And you can’t. God knows that, so your significant channel signals are pre-set for what you need.

Loved ones in your life act as signals to specialty stations that broadcast points of interest, encouragement, growth, humor, creativity – or whatever you have need of. When they’re around, it’s easier to engage with the programming that makes for a better life experience or accomplish what you set out to do.

There are also people that broadcast God directly into your life. Sometimes you recognize these sacred channels right away. Sometimes you don’t – until they’re gone.

When a loved one dies, you not only lose them – you lose the station they boosted for you. The life experiences and expressions you shared. You can circle within the gravity field, tinfoil in hand, but the rabbit ears are gone. You are left with an insatiable longing.

Grief moves us beyond the gravity point when we embrace its higher purpose.

From Theory to Practice.

When Ray died, I lost a direct channel to God – and more than a few secondary channels – so the grief set in hard, fast and on multiple levels. He was a significant God channel so, in grieving Ray, I also grieved God. My “go to” person was on the other side of the veil. Now what?

As grief forced me to confront a different relationship with my out-of-body beloved, I realized my relationship with God was part of that package. As well as my relationship with all those secondary channels Ray held signal for – like art and the purpose for my creative expression. The ease and comfort, in experiencing these channels, had to shift to other broadcasters still here. My attachment to Ray’s style of delivery had to adjust in the silence without his physical presence.

When Gravity Meets Grace.

If the higher purpose of grief is to recognize the longing I carry for profound love, then my desire to find a way to shift from merely surviving to thriving, in spite of the estrangement I feel, must also serve a higher purpose.

When I take my sense of loss back to Source, I pull up from the heaviness of grief and move into the power of grace. I remember that God created – and gifted me – with this beloved. I see that my loved one’s signal just received an upgrade. Longing invites me to recognize the opportunity before me to receive my own upgrade – while still here.

When grief meets grace our GPS gets reset to travel where gravity does not bind us.

If I love you here, I loved you first in heaven.

This is the deal about having God Channels (like Ray) for me. They are significant because the seed of desire for what we share is planted within me and encourages me to keep reaching. By design, they are my memory of God here – and my memory of God there.

I know, this sound like some mind-stretching mystic shit (alliteration intended) but I want you to play with this idea because this is not a blog about navigating grief. This is about resetting your signal.

For whom do you grieve? For whom do you long? Where do you find your experience of profound love today?

There is a new (old) order introduced when a beloved dies, offering to fine-tune your receiver. You can reset and match signals with that loved one. You can reset and tap into the greater love you long for.

The higher purpose of grief evidences in our willingness to accept its invitation to recognize our profound reach beyond the veil. It is our GPS home.

Not all earth plane events originate with a higher purpose. Shit happens. Yes. But SHIFT happens when we recognize that all things can SERVE a higher purpose – if we reach for it. This is the comfort found in a grief that points to our deep longing to experience love and life – FULLY – on both sides of the veil. This is the grace, and thus curriculum, for those of us left behind.

I always love to hear your thoughts, DEar HEaRTs. You matter to me! Mwah! XO Bernadette

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8 thoughts on “Good Grief. Don’t Change the Channel.

  • June 19, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    So very beautiful, B.
    (love the image too)

    • June 19, 2018 at 9:22 pm

      Thank you, Sandra. Do you see the emerging image in the static?

  • June 19, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    Just what I needed at this moment and this pops up ….beautifully said … and something now to ponder on ….Love n hugs cuz ?????

    • June 20, 2018 at 1:54 pm

      Gotta love how that happens, Honey. You have had to move through a lot of grief. I’m pulling for you … AND you have friends in high places. 😉

  • June 22, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    You are so amazing!

  • August 21, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    Great insight, as always. Love you.

  • September 23, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Thanks for the blog. I recently lost my spiritual soulmate Paul. I had huge amount of grief following and could not change the grief into recognizing the blessing I had knowing him on this plane.

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