Archive for the ‘A Companion Guide for Bernadette's Pages’ Category

Introduction to Your Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

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What People Are Saying 
“Intense … raw … feel like I’m reading my own thoughts … can only read a little at a time … a lot to digest.”

And my favorite, “My God, girl, reading your book was like passing a car wreck on the expressway. I didn’t want to look but – I couldn’t stop turning the pages.” (Thanks, Pam!)

Voyeurism Has Its Place
I do not doubt the guidance I received to publish my journal – intense as it is – as a journal. Fictionalizing the pages or converting them to a self-help book would have sacrificed the profound healing offered through their invitation to voyeurism; a voyeurism that connects our shared reactions to life’s gut-punch moments and allows us to consider the many ways we struggle to catch our breath. (The ones that work and the ones that don’t.)

But many are asking questions that Bernadette’s Pages cannot answer directly because I did publish it ‘as is.’

I am writing this guide to answer some of those questions. To move beyond the drama (reflected in the comments above) and expand on the formulas for healing found within B’s Pages. Posting this guide to my blog allows for a more ‘bite-size,’ casual sharing that I hope will reinforce the healing process initiated by the book. (Plus, if you don’t get what I am saying here, you can ask me to clarify.)

Everybody Likes Short Cuts
Tucked within B’s Pages is an extraordinary map for healing whatever stands between you and the life you were meant to live. I am highlighting the 10 key tools found within the book that, when applied, will save you time in getting to whatever your version of happily-ever-after is to look like. (No car wrecks (more…)

Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages: Tool Number 4 of 10

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

 

Got You Covered!

Got You Covered!

 

GRATITUDE WHILE DODGING BULLETS

It’s easy to feel grateful when life is good. And it’s not too much of a strain to reach for it when life is so-so. But finding and maintaining an attitude of gratitude while dodging bullets? That’s a dedicated decision.

Before You Pass This Tool Up

I know there’s already tons of material out there touting the benefits of gratitude and appreciation. As key to the law of attraction, gratitude is enjoying quite a comeback. (Apparently our fast-paced society rendered its power a ‘secret’ to some.)

The path of gratitude – as a way for a ‘want’ to become a ‘get’ – is certainly a more positive approach to acquisition than some this world has witnessed. But limiting gratitude to conditional comfort zones is like restricting a Ferrari motor to a Yugo frame. (Don’t remember the Yugo? Precisely my point.)

Don’t Get Me Wrong

You can never have too much gratitude – of any kind. It is the one thing I encourage clutter clients to collect freely. Gratitude doesn’t jam up closets and knows how to share garage space with your car. You can’t grow out of it. It is never out of style. And I don’t know anyone who has died from an overdose of it. (A heart overflowing with gratitude and appreciation actually feels pretty good.)

But what of gratitude when you find yourself caught in the crossfire? When the emotional bullets start to ricochet and you seem to be the target? (more…)

Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages: Tool Number 3 of 10

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

PURGING ANGER. FINDING FORGIVENESS.
If you’ve never felt irritable, resentful or angry, skip this section. If there is no one you’ve felt challenged to forgive – even for a day, yourself included cruise on to the next tool. (The rest of us will catch up later.)

However, if you find yourself carting around more than your share of unease, disappointment, frustration, or resentment because of a relationship or life situation – or if you find yourself on anger overload, raging at the moon – stick around.

Tired of Lugging Around Anger?
Tool number three is where the rubber hit the road for me. Where my spinout found traction. (Just short of the cliff!) In this section, I highlight two (more…)

Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages: Tool Number 2 of 10

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

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“… listening to divine guidance through the emotional chaos.”  Suzanne DeMarchi, Cheshire, CT

REFRAMING
In this section, I define reframing, give you a few “under fire” examples, and finish with some reframing exercises to try for yourself.

What Is Reframing?
Reframing is changing the context (the frame) within which you view a challenging person or situation. Seeing your concern in a new way (reframing) allows you to make choices and take actions that can open the door to possibilities that were not previously “available” to you because of a limited vantage point.

Let’s Look At A Few Reframing Examples From B’s Pages
I was struggling with fears about our relationship when these words poured onto my morning pages. Seven months before Ray left, before HE even knew he was going to leave, Spirit wrote, “Do not give up on him. He needs you to be light … The way may not be easy … but you knew that from the beginning of this arrangement … He may need to find another woman … to see you anew … You must not walk away in frustration. He will not renege … Know this and remain true.”

Arrangement. Another woman. Remain true.

Spirit shot those words through with surgical precision. Past my censor. Past my “emotional chaos.” Their purpose? Gently start the process of reframing an event that had not yet taken place. The part about “another woman” saving our marriage was just too (more…)

Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages: Tool Number 1 of 10

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

“She clearly demonstrates how to bring journaling to the next level.” Devra Ursem-Phillips, Visions Unlimited Coaching

WRITING UNDER FIRE

For a demonstration of the first tool at work, pick up Bernadette’s Pages and flip to any page. (With exception to the Intro and Afterward, of course.) 

Writing under fire provided a journaling intensive that saved my life. (Dramatic but true.) Desperation overflowed from a pretty blue journal with a fluffy white kitty on the cover into comp books, steno pads, loose-leaf paper – and anything else remotely close to paper – when the angst hit. Venting anger. Flushing out remorse. Dear God letters. Ray-you-asshole letters. Therapy work. Dream logs. Synchronicity logs. Gratitude logs. Spirit dialogs. Ego dialogs.

Guess you could say journaling helped me map out the expressway and every alternate route available when confronted with an emotional traffic jam. 

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Two Gifts And Amplified Synchronicity

In the fall of ’93, Ray gave me a copy of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Struggling with a loss (more…)