Spring Fever Rebellion

Pink Flower

 
Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO

 

Now that I’ve officially fallen flat on my blogging b!?#@! I will confess to what I can only identify as spring fever rebellion. (So much for the idea of matching posting days with journal entry days.)

How to proceed from here? I could “catch up” by fudging the posting dates. If you just got here you’d never know. Then I could shrug my absence off to a mysterious Internet snafu for those of you who get this on feed. Or – I could just offer short snippets to get us current and ask for your forgiveness.

Hmmm. Guess which one? (You get to practice forgiveness!) In the interest of saving time, I am not posting any 2010 comments. Instead, I have selected a progression of short journal entries and spirit dialogs that will hopefully tell the story and share the “classroom” in a self-explanatory way. If you have questions, just ask. Here we go!


JOURNAL THEN –––

Journal, April 8, 1994 “… When these racing hormones kick in, the idea of finding comfort or distraction in another man is Read more

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Old Road. New Map.

Sunset Rooftops

Photo Courtesy of Karla Zdroik

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO

 

CREATING A NEW REALITY WITHOUT GETTING OFF YOUR COUCH.


If memory is all you have of the past, and what you base your present choices on, why not give yourself a different “memory” to choose from?

 

Journal, April 5, 1994 “It’s time to wake up and be conscious of what I’ve been doing. It’s time to change the script. To look in my own mirror. This separation was probably the only thing that would have caught and held my attention so I would stop and look at this victim mentality I support … “

 

2010:  Starting with a spirit dialog and ending with a vision, there are six entries in my book for April 5th and that presents me with a dilemma. How do I maintain a storyline and support growth without wearing you out?  Because March was such a big month (52 journal entries) there was a lot that I didn’t include in my March posts, some of which I now realize laid the foundation for today’s insights about how we create our reality. (I told you this “out of context” stuff could get messy.)

Today, I’m ditching my concerns about the storyline progression and inviting you to leap with me into some pretty heady stuff about how we use – and abuse – our relationship with time to create our life experiences. (If you are Read more

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The Other Woman’s Stand-In

Purple Flower

Photo – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO

THE STAND-IN

Journal, April 4, 1994“The weirdest thing happened today. Lea and I went shopping so I could pick up some things for the house. We wound up at the new home store. We were hungry, so we stopped in their deli … While I was standing at the counter waiting for my food, this gal caught my eye. I felt drawn to her and, for some strange reason, the idea came into my head that she was Shelly. I started discretely checking her out … She was pretty. Trim in an athletic sort of way, with clear, radiant skin. It was quite unnerving. As I sat down to eat with Lea, I confessed my “obsession.” When we got up to leave, this gal did also. She directed a question about the store to me, making conversation. She was very pleasant and sweet. I thought, if this is Shelly, does she know who I am? I hadn’t found any pictures of her when I went through Ray’s stuff, so I was at a disadvantage. Real crazy thinking. I knew Read more

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“I Don’t Think We’re In Kansas Anymore, Toto.”

flowers in field

Photo – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO

 

DREAM LOGS

Dream, April 1, 1994“Eric and I are going out for dinner … he gives me flowers … he presents me with a white silk kimono. There is a hand-painted symbol on the front. Broad yet delicate brush strokes form a red circle, and deep blue strokes run vertically through the circle. Very oriental in character … custom made for me … he kisses me … I don’t resist … he’s trying to give me what he feels I need … I am grateful …”

Dream, April 2, 1994 “Ray and I are sleeping on a mattress, on the floor in the back bedroom. We start to make love … It surprises me that he would want to do this … I awaken (in the dream) and realize I was dreaming … and see him sleeping in a fetal position … I try to wake him but he is in a deep sleep … Then I really wake up.”

Dream, April 3 “Ray is moving his stuff out. I find razor blades scattered on our bed … I show them to him …“


2010:  If you asked me to list five things that had an impact on me as a child, dreams would be on that list. Voices. Visions. Nightmares. The line between the waking world and dreaming world was often fuzzy.

I always had vivid dreams. As I grew older I got comfortable with them and gradually learned to welcome their wisdom. Dreams offered another view – another way to look at and process things that were going on in my life. (Take away the psychology and I had a front row seat at the movies every night!)

I don’t think there is a one of us who isn’t a little bit curious about our dreams. Ever notice how your dream time gets more active when you’re going Read more

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The Law of Attraction in Action

Sunflower

Photo – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. XO

LIONS

AND TIGERS

AND BEARS … OH MY!!!

MISDIRECTED INTENTIONS

Journal, March 29, 1994 “Where did my imaginings take me? I was afraid Ray would find another woman because he no longer seemed to desire me. How did I reinforce that fear?”

Spirit Dialog “… You do not need to lose hope, but you cannot find hope in external signs from him. It must come from your connection with what you “know,” as when you first met … See how your fears have created your part in this. Do the work Sandra gives you to get clear … You are no less because he thinks he wants you not. You have always looked to the men in your life to place your value. You must want you. You must value you. How else will you know what, in your experience, is worth the attention and so the “intention” that you give? It is intentions that create your life experience. Where would misdirected or misunderstood intentions place your life?

Where are you now? Do you like this place of misdirected intentions? Then start learning and stop looking at what you don’t have, or you Read more

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