Posts Tagged ‘core beliefs’

What They Say …

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Glasses with pink handmade paper

Lately, I find myself thinking about “they says.” You know, those statements that we encounter in life that are spoken as truisms. Perhaps meant to be helpful guides like …

Once a cheater always a cheater.

Hmmm. How helpful is that?

The date of my last post – June 24th – hits me right between the eyes with another “they say.” They say that a blogger should never leave their blog unattended for a long period of time without making an official “I am on a blogging hiatus” statement. They say it’s bad business. (They also say “right between the eyes” is a cliché and writers shouldn’t use clichés.)

Well, I say:
What if
I didn’t know I was going to take a hiatus?
What if
life happened – as it so often does – and I just got caught up in living it and wasn’t in the space to write about it?
What if
I just wanted to BE in the experiences? (Some of which were very cool, by the way, and will be shared here.)
What if I’m not a writer and just a gal with a messy room?

BESIDES, who are THEY anyway? And where do THEY get their information? I mean, they must really get around because they have a lot to (more…)

My Greatest Fear?

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

FreedomPhoto – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

MY GREATEST FEAR?

Session Reflections Journal, March 22, 1994 • “A lot came out of my session with Sandra this morning … I have to find a healthier way to address the feeling that I screwed up, and the belief that I’m not worthy of love. That’s where my panic comes from – my lack of patience with Ray’s retreat from me. I see his actions as proof that I’m not worthy – and I have no resistance to the feelings that surface as a result. They tell me that I must earn love. That I’m not good enough to receive it just as I am. “Screwed up” also feeds into a belief that I can never truly redeem myself because I am defective … and because of that, should be punished. That’s how I perceive Ray’s treatment of me. He’s punishing me for being flawed.”

2010: I have to get this out of the way – so humor me. WOW! Ray had been out of the house four days – FOUR DAYS – and Sandra had me doing this kind of work based on what I wrote in my purging journal? I believed that I was not worthy of love and so had to EARN it? It sounded crazy to me. And yet, when Sandra and I started following the threads, there was (more…)

Are You A Definer Or Refiner?

Monday, September 7th, 2009

 

TreeOnRoof011

Where you land may not be up to you – but how you grow when you get there is.

 

Here’s an idea to play around with. The next time someone or something upsets you, ask yourself, “Does this define me or refine me?”

 

Why? Because your answer determines how you move through the experience and the baggage you carry afterward.

Let’s see what Webster has to say about these two words.

• Define: to determine the limits or nature of; describe exactly.

Hmmm. ‘Determine the limits’ seems pretty limiting. And describe exactly?’ (There’s a crazy-making quest.) I don’t know about you but my life – and upsets – defy any exacting description. This defining business is feeling a bit tense.

• Refine: to free or become free of impurities. To make or become more polished.

To ‘become free’ and ‘more polished.’ All right. I’m exhaling here. This feels like something I can grab hold of when grappling with an upset.

How a Defining Moment Becomes a Refining Moment.   Stop. Ask the question. “Does this define me or refine me?” Make a conscious (more…)