Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

Mandala Moments

Friday, June 11th, 2010

Title: YOUR favorite photograph!
Artist: Sharron Cee


Gift Giveaway: Mandala created from your favorite photograph with Dalet (blessing) on reverse. 8 ½” x 11” (includes mat).

 

Muse-Creations for Our Forgive it Forward Giveaway – Because forgiveness and creativity go hand-in-hand for us, Ray and I thought it would be fun to spice up our 35-day Forgive It Forward project launch with a focus on the arts. So, we sent a call out to the muses among us for a little assist and some inspiration.

Between June 14th and July 19th, we introduced artists, sculptors, potters, musicians – and more – who forgave it forward with us by donating a gift for a random drawing giveaway. Each muse answered two questions and shared a little bit about their creative process and passion. We hope they inspire you.


Sharron Cee: Mandala Artist

Sharron is a sometimes poet and digital artist who creates her pieces for friends, family, and personal pleasure. Each piece is created with love (and occasional hints of humor).

She was always a creative child, but her creativity was sidelined by life and serious academic pursuits.  Now in her dotage, her inner child has reawakened to the joy of the (more…)

Urban Altar Musings

Friday, June 11th, 2010

Title: “Hambidge House”
Artist: Marilyn McConnell
Gift Giveaway: Matted print of watercolor. 8″ x 10″ image area.

 

Muse-Creations for Our Forgive it Forward Giveaway – Because forgiveness and creativity go hand-in-hand for us, Ray and I thought it would be fun to spice up our 35-day Forgive It Forward project launch with a focus on the arts. So, we sent a call out to the muses among us for a little assist and some inspiration.

Between June 14th and July 19th, we introduced artists, sculptors, potters, musicians – and more – who forgave it forward with us by donating a gift for a random drawing giveaway. Each muse answered two questions and shared a little bit about their creative process and passion. We hope they inspire you.


Marilyn McConnell: A Mixed Media Artist

Mickey is a personal muse. The mother of a dear friend, she entered my life as a writer. And for years, that’s how I “saw” her whenever I thought of her. (Off somewhere, writing poetry or working on a novel.) On the fast track of life, I missed that she was an art teacher and an artist. Then Facebook came along and we ‘friended’ each other. THAT’S when I saw her album. THAT’S when she became my muse. As an artist who stumbled into the writing and publishing world, I am inspired by Mickey’s artwork and her vision for urban altars. (Not to mention her volume of expression.) She reminds me that it is never too late to let my artist come back out to play!

So, tell us Mickey …

R&B: What does “forgive it forward” mean to you?   (more…)

An Open Letter To Sandra Bullock

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Sandra Bullock

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

 

I’M BREAKING OUT OF PATTERN WITH THIS POST.

On March 28, 1994, I wrote a long letter to Ray that stayed tucked within the pages of my journal, waiting for “permission to send.” The nod never came. Rather than share that letter and comment on it as part of my journal entry for today, I am moved to stay in 2010 and share this one instead.

Betrayal is making itself a home in the headlines it seems. Drama and speculation about the private lives of public couples is rampant. Until now, I’ve kept my thoughts to myself. These couples need space and privacy and I can’t even begin to imagine how successful Ray and I would have been with patching up our mess while the world peered over our shoulders. But Sandra Bullock said something that resonated so deeply with me as a woman in love that I find myself compelled to reach out to her and offer support. This particular corner of the Messy Room is the only channel I have that feels appropriate. So, here goes.

Pink Flowers

Dear Sandra,

If the angels see fit that this cross your path, know that your experience is being joined with our experience to bless you. That this letter to you is tucked safely in pages that share the healing of a relationship. And that your words to Jesse, “… (more…)

My Greatest Fear?

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

FreedomPhoto – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

MY GREATEST FEAR?

Session Reflections Journal, March 22, 1994 • “A lot came out of my session with Sandra this morning … I have to find a healthier way to address the feeling that I screwed up, and the belief that I’m not worthy of love. That’s where my panic comes from – my lack of patience with Ray’s retreat from me. I see his actions as proof that I’m not worthy – and I have no resistance to the feelings that surface as a result. They tell me that I must earn love. That I’m not good enough to receive it just as I am. “Screwed up” also feeds into a belief that I can never truly redeem myself because I am defective … and because of that, should be punished. That’s how I perceive Ray’s treatment of me. He’s punishing me for being flawed.”

2010: I have to get this out of the way – so humor me. WOW! Ray had been out of the house four days – FOUR DAYS – and Sandra had me doing this kind of work based on what I wrote in my purging journal? I believed that I was not worthy of love and so had to EARN it? It sounded crazy to me. And yet, when Sandra and I started following the threads, there was (more…)

Sleep With Me?

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Karla's Sunset

Photo – Courtesy of Karla Zdroik

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

SLEEP WITH ME?

Forgiveness & Purging Journal, March 21, 1994 • “It’s 5:31 a.m., and today is the anniversary of our first date. I’m awake and angry – absolutely livid at what Ray said before moving out, when he mistook my request that he sleep with me as a desire to make love. I can’t believe he said that would be an emotional betrayal to Shelly … That #!@!&#! … He’s concerned about his loyalty to her? This is insane!”

2010: I have to admit, this entry makes me squirm a little and I have considered not posting it. Some of the sexual references that follow in the book feel a little too intimate and vulnerable for this kind of forum so I’m compromising here. I know. That sounds weird being that the book is published but pulling an entry like this out of context gets tricky. I bring the world into our bedroom on this (more…)

Writing Under Fire

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

WRITING UNDER FIRE

Journal, March 9, 1994, 5:21 a.m. • “The anger has awakened me … Rather than stew, I’ll dump my anger on the page and hopefully get back into a place of peaceful resolve … All these things I want to say to Ray – to change him? I allowed him to pull me off my path! How could I have thought it would be satisfying, or safe, to support his dreams while mine disappeared?”

2010: Ever do that? Set a dream aside – for whatever reason?

“Day after day, putting in my time for that someday when … we would be free to play and express who we truly are – together – as a couple. … He faults me that I could not lighten up … He needed me to be the heavy, and then had the audacity to believe that I was capable of being no more than a caretaker. He is running as fast as he can into the arms of a woman who would be for him all that I am not? Damn. I want to play, be spontaneous, adventurous – but who has the time or energy?”

2010: Ever feel that way? I know a lot of women who struggle to see themselves (more…)

Camping Out

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Plant on Table

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

CAMPING OUT

Journal, March 8, 1994 • “I feel calmer, now that I have spent the night here at Lea’s. Her home is very peaceful. The pain is filtered, like sunlight through smoked glass – not quite so intense. What I feel most is emptiness. And sadness for how I could allow myself to become so empty and not notice. I filled myself with Ray … Trying to complete myself in him, as I accuse him of doing with her.”

2010: You know, I had a couple excerpts picked from today’s journal entries but I think I want to settle with just this one. I find myself thinking about all the ways we lose ourselves in relationships and all the ways our world supports the idea that we are incomplete without that ONE other person, that special someone.

When you think about it, it’s like we say to God, “Hey, You messed up. You only gave me half the package. Now I have to finish the job.” And off we go, (more…)

On Angels’ Wings

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

 

  • Then & Now Project: The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “What now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book (taken from my journal) that reveal pieces of that journey in a “that was then, this is now” format. My posting days match with journal entry days (sort of a time-fusion) and focus on what I hope will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t, or might. Enjoy!

 

ON ANGEL’S WINGS

Spirit Dialog & Journal, March 4, 1994 • “The pain is intense. I keep trying to remind myself that this is pain for what may come, not pain for this very second. This very second, Ray is in bed. Moments before, I lay in his arms. Awake. Trying to keep my mind from racing to the time when he will not be here.”

2010: I had no sooner finished writing those words when, to my surprise, I found myself scribing these!

“Let go. Let go. Trust God. That’s all you truly have, Bernadette … if you are to live through this pain, you must use every tool you have ever learned to stay in the moment. … We know you wanted to dump your feelings on paper here, but nothing new would have been written this morning. More important than your knowing the connection, is your accepting the connection with us. We are here.”

We are here? (more…)

Introduction to Your Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

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What People Are Saying
“Intense … raw … feel like I’m reading my own thoughts … can only read a little at a time … a lot to digest.”

And my favorite, “My God, girl, reading your book was like passing a car wreck on the expressway. I didn’t want to look but – I couldn’t stop turning the pages.” (Thanks, Pam!)

Voyeurism Has Its Place
I do not doubt the guidance I received to publish my journal – intense as it is – as a journal. Fictionalizing the pages or converting them to a self-help book would have sacrificed the profound healing offered through their invitation to voyeurism; a voyeurism that connects our shared reactions to life’s gut-punch moments and allows us to consider the many ways we struggle to catch our breath. (The ones that work and the ones that don’t.)

But many ask questions that Bernadette’s Pages cannot answer directly because I did publish it ‘as is.’

I am writing this guide to answer some of those questions. To move beyond the drama (reflected in the comments above) and expand on the formulas for healing found within B’s Pages. Posting this guide in the Messy Room allows for a more ‘bite-size,’ casual sharing that I hope will reinforce the healing process initiated by the book. (Plus, if you don’t get what I am saying here, you can ask me to clarify.)

Everybody Likes Short Cuts
Tucked within B’s Pages is an extraordinary map for healing whatever stands between you and the life you were meant to live. I am highlighting the 10 key tools found within the book that, when applied, will save you time in getting to whatever your version of happily-ever-after is to look like. (No car wrecks (more…)

Companion Guide for Bernadette’s Pages: Tool Number 3 of 10

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

PURGING ANGER. FINDING FORGIVENESS.
If you’ve never felt irritable, resentful or angry, skip this section. If there is no one you’ve felt challenged to forgive – even for a day – yourself included, cruise on to the next tool. (The rest of us will catch up later.)

However, if you find yourself carting around more than your share of unease, disappointment, frustration, or resentment because of a relationship or life situation – or if you find yourself on anger overload, raging at the moon, stick around.

Tired of Lugging Around Anger?
Tool number three is where the rubber hit the road for me. Where my spinout found traction. (Just short of the cliff!) In this section, I highlight two (more…)