Art as Life: Tear a Page. Turn a Corner.

Inspiritus at Lourdes Mixed Media Art by Bernadette Rose Smith Ever find yourself heading in a particular direction only to hit so many speed bumps, detours, or cul-de-sacs along the way that you start to question whether you should proceed? Maybe you can recall more than one “where is that road again” trip. Perhaps you are in the middle of one right now. Or, maybe there is one right around the corner waiting for you. (You do know you are not reading this by chance, right?) Well, get comfy. While you ponder that, I will tell you a short story about Inspiritus. Why? Because, whatever your journey, it is a story that points to a moment we share – that moment when we hear the whispers and feel the breath of the Divine moving through us. Inspiritus Mixed Media Art by Bernadette Rose Smith Inspiritus Breath Mixed Media Art by Bernadette Rose Smith I was not in the neighborhood for inspiritus. I was aiming for a project that I hoped would address a livelihood concern. Inspiritus – the altered book pictured throughout this post – was a spirited calling on the carpet. It started with a phrase that kept popping up in my journal and my thoughts. Like a song verse you can’t shake. “The words are the leaves. The deeds are the fruits.” A polite way for the Divine to say, “Talk is cheap. Show me.” Inspiritus Altered Book Cover by Bernadette Rose Smith It was generously reinforced with one dead end after another in my livelihood venture. I have acquired enough wisdom to know when to stop and listen. (You know, that point where you start seeing stars from hitting that brick wall one too many times?) That’s when this poetic collaboration hopped onto a page in my journal one morning, starting with the verse:
So much happens before a leaf is born and from your pages a word is torn...
Inspiritus Altered Book Love by Bernadette Rose Smith “What a delightful thump on the head,” I thought. And with that invitation came the rest.
root upon root. ring upon ring. matters hidden until, in spring, from root to trunk to limb to branch a leaf is born, adorned to dance in sun and breeze and cloud and storm until its partner bud is born. coaxed to blossom. blossom to fruit. how will you harvest what came to root?
Inspiritus Altered Book by Bernadette Rose Smith My life flashed before my eyes. Okay, maybe not that dramatic but pretty dang close. Lets just say, in the following weeks, the writer-me burned through a lot of pages on the topic of compromises, adaptations, justifications, rescues, distractions, and all manner of negotiation devices used to make peace with myself when confronted with the needs and concerns of others always coming first. Whether for lack of courage or just plain fatigue, my frail manipulative attempts to wrestle a corner of time to follow my passions and use the divine seeds given me met with delay upon delay, year after year. From brunette to my now “platinum blond.” Inspiritus Altered Book Contemplation by Bernadette Rose Smith Somewhere in all that writing reverie, the artist-me stepped up. She’d had it. “Enough already! I got this. Let me show you without all the words. The big annual art show is coming up in 7 weeks. You love altered books so make one. Give this poem a home and then send it on its journey. All of your adult life you have set me aside for more concerns than I can count. I am tired of living in the shadows cast by others and your livelihood-concerned, placating-all-others self. There is no one looking over your shoulder but you now. So what’s your excuse? When will there ever be the perfect time? How will I ever trust you? Talk is cheap. Show me you love me. Lets plant some seeds.” Inspiritus Altered Book Seeds by Bernadette Rose Smith Inspiritus Altered Book Mixed Media Seed Spread by Bernadette Rose Smith Well just ouch me! Enough of my story. Now I am going to ask you to think about yours and invite you to answer some questions. Inspiritus Altered Book Mixed Media Matchbook Drawers by Bernadette Rose Smith Leaves eventually give way to harvest a new experience. What seeds are you planting in their compost? Are they ones you came in with? Or ones others have handed to you along the way? The thing about the seeds accepted from others is that, at first, they seem easy because they come with instructions. But look carefully. Those seeds are often attached to strings and expectations that lead to resentments and guilt if not planted to the satisfaction of the original seed bearer. They can land you in tending a field that will not sustain you or the seed bearer. (Funny about that, eh?) Inspiritus Altered Book Mixed Media Ladder Spread by Bernadette Rose Smith The thing about the seeds we come in with is that they don’t often come with instructions. We have to do a little investigating to find the proper climate, soil, nutrients, as well as healthy partner crops with which to plant them. We have to be aware. Watch the weather patterns. Be attentive to pests and weeds. But the seeds we came in with will sustain us and place us in fields that will also sustain others. Inspiritus Altered Book Mixed Media Harvest Spread by Bernadette Rose Smith What’s in your seed pouch? Do you know? Have you checked lately? Now is the time to dig deep. When your seed-planting time on this earth is done and you are standing in front of the Master Farmer, will your pouch be empty? Or still full? Inspiritus Mixed Media Altered Book Hidden Matters by Bernadette Rose Smith The blogger-me says, “Thanks for the visit and share any seed thoughts you wish to cast for others to harvest!" The writer-me says, “Let my words be the leaves that your deeds may bear fruit.” The artist-me says, “Look at the pictures. They will nourish your soul.” Musings from the Messy Room Subscribe Photo If you like this post, then please LIKE and SHARE because together we PLANT a better world! And be sure to SUBSCRIBE to my Messy Room for more musings and inspirations to come!  

Writing Under Fire The Artist’s Way

Shameful Stories

Writing Under Fire

Writing under fire saves lives when desperation overflows pretty journals and sends pen in hand drawer-diving for a comp book or some lone sheet of loose-leaf paper.

Even toilet paper writes well at midnight with its multi-tasking talent for anger venting, tear catching, nose blowing, remorse flushing purges.

Dear God letters. Fill-in-the-blank-you-asshole letters. Therapy work. Gasping for breath and rhythm work. Dream logs. Synchronicity logs. Gratitude logs. Spirit dialogs. Ego dialogs. Alternate routes through heart and mind traffic jams.

When angst hits the wall grab a pen. Hit the page. Save a life. Make it yours.

Bernadette Rose Smith


Wish to amp up your life with creativity and delight in Divine Coincidence? Here's 3 things to try. (Hey, they work for me!)


Thing 1: Morning Pages.

In the fall of ’93, my then-husband-now-friend gave me a copy of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Struggling with a loss of career direction, artist’s block and mild depression I couldn’t shake, I committed to reading the book and writing the morning pages that Julia prescribed. Some might call it irony. I call it synchronicity – amplified by a Divine Purpose. Then-husband-now-friend gifted me with a book that introduced me to a process of writing my way through pretty much anything. Then he left and gifted me with an opportunity to practice that process in a way that I never could have imagined! What are morning pages? In Julia’s words, “… three pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-consciousness: ‘Oh, god, another morning. I have NOTHING to say. I need to wash the curtains. Did I get my laundry yesterday? Blah, blah, blah …’ They might also, more ingloriously, be called brain drain, since that is one of their main functions.” She also says, “There is no wrong way to do morning pages … (they) are not meant to be art. Or even writing … not supposed to sound smart … nobody is allowed to read (them) except you … Just write three pages … ” Why write them? Julia jokes, “To get to the other side” but is quick to point to their power when she says they get us to “the other side of our fear, of our negativity…” She identifies a voice she calls the censor. (What I frequently refer to as ego in Bernadette’s Pages.) Writing three pages of chaotic, mundane babble miraculously clears the static that interferes with my ability to quiet my mind and consciously connect. Like a child allowed to run off a sugar high after a birthday party, my ego often settles down by the time I get to page three – after which I find I can be still and receptive to insights that often change my life.  

Thing 2. (Maybe 3.) Writing With Your Other Hand.

Years ago, a friend introduced me to the power of using my non-dominant hand to tap into the wisdom of the right brain. She guided me through a series of dialogs during which the right hand (my dominant) wrote out the question with a pen and the left hand (my non-dominant) answered with a crayon. The left hand blurts were surprisingly direct and wise. The process captured my attention but did not go beyond a few sessions. This powerful tool reemerged as a lifeline after then-husband-now-friend’s departure and is still something I do in my morning page time. You don’t have to understand how the right brain works to experience its effect. Creative or not, we all intuitively dip into it on an unconscious level. But, if you want to harness its power more consciously, I suggest you read Lucia Capacchione’s, The Power of Your Other Hand as well as the classic, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. These books direct you to a whole new way of seeing and experiencing the world.  

Thing 3: (Maybe 2.) Scribing Spirit.

Scribing – referred to as “Spirit Dialog” in B’s Pages – was not entirely new to me when I started doing morning pages. I’d had a few ‘scribing outbreaks’ in previous years––outbreaks that I attributed to twelve-step recovery work. (Specifically Step Eleven.) Often, in my practice of Step Eleven (that states, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him …”) I would feel a Divine Presence and an urge to write. Sometimes words flowed onto the page that were not my own. No burning bushes – or winning lottery numbers – but always appropriate to where I was and what I was concerned with. Without the established habit (morning ritual) of showing up to the page, I would not have a clear channel nor a comfort zone when Divine Guidance bumps journaling to the next level with whispers of redirects or offers of lifelines. And I would miss the crossroads – the opportunities to change direction – that lead to what I know and love about life today. I Write to Think poster A Shortcut?  These days, my writing evolves to fit life circumstances and time constraints but remains a foundational cornerstone; a primary tool I use to process and move through life’s stuff. Issues that show up on paper often do not have to remain as long, drawn out classroom experiences. And, at crucial times, they act as springboards for some pretty amazing communication with others. (I do not advise that you share your writing casually, however. It is important to have an ear that constructively hears beyond the guilt and fear that often gets dumped onto the pages.) Here’s a Thought.  Why wait for pain to motivate you when guidance is “at hand?” Let morning pages prime the pump and other-hand writing set the stage for your own insightful “blurts.” I would LOVE to hear your experiences and thoughts on what your “writing under fire” looks like and how it works in your life. Or your challenges with writing in this way. “Dump” them here ‘cause together we grow!

And if you like this post LIKE it and share it with your friends!

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“Tear it up. Tear up your book and make art with it.”

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I was curious. What would it feel like for the writer-me to take a back seat and let the artist-me play, Rimonabant (Acomplia) wiki. Purchase Rimonabant (Acomplia) online no prescription, Rebellious. Irreverent, Rimonabant (Acomplia) from canadian pharmacy. Rimonabant (Acomplia) steet value, A little exciting, maybe, Rimonabant (Acomplia) alternatives. Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription, What would it feel like to tear up my book and transform its journey with betrayal and forgiveness to a new forum. Buy cheap Rimonabant (Acomplia) no rx,

Forum as in ongoing. Not form as in static.

An image pops into my head, where to buy Rimonabant (Acomplia). Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) online no prescription, "Tear out a page. Grab some charcoal, Rimonabant (Acomplia) interactions. Call it Surrender.” whispers the muse.

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Surrender Your Stories: charcoal by bernadette rose smith

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Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription, “That’s good for a start. Order Rimonabant (Acomplia) no prescription, But really quite tame.” says the voice in my head. “Now what if you REALLY tear it up and give those pages another purpose?”

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“Bookmarks.” snickers the voice.

Bookmarks, order Rimonabant (Acomplia) online c.o.d. Bookmarks for my book made out of my book, Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription. Rimonabant (Acomplia) without prescription, How funny.


Tear It up Pages


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Now THAT was fun .., canada, mexico, india. Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription, and quite freeing. Online buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) without a prescription, I think I'm seeing a series here. What was that, get Rimonabant (Acomplia). Buying Rimonabant (Acomplia) online over the counter, 121 ways to what. Hmmm, online Rimonabant (Acomplia) without a prescription. Wasn’t there a Cloth Paper Scissors challenge for a tunnel book in the last month's issue, Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription. Kjøpe Rimonabant (Acomplia) på nett, köpa Rimonabant (Acomplia) online, “Get on that. NOW.” says the muse, Rimonabant (Acomplia) cost. Rimonabant (Acomplia) from mexico, “My job here is done.”


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So, would YOU tear it up, buy generic Rimonabant (Acomplia). Would YOU follow the whispers? Have YOU had any “odd” inspirations lately that you would like to share. Buy Rimonabant (Acomplia) Without Prescription, Pull up a chair and tell me about it. Oh ... and don’t mind the ripping noises.


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Then & Now Project: Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, The journey from “I do” to “I don’t” to “what now” is complicated. This project shares snippets from my book – taken from my journal then. These posts reveal pieces of the journey in a “that was then, this is now” format with my posting days matching journal entry days, Finalo (Propecia) canada, mexico, india. (Sort of a time-fusion.) I hope this project focus will offer food for thought in your own life – whether you do, don’t or might. Order Finalo (Propecia) from United States pharmacy, XO


Now that I’ve officially fallen flat on my blogging b!?#@. I will confess to what I can only identify as spring fever rebellion, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. (So much for the idea of matching posting days with journal entry days.)

How to proceed from here? I could "catch up" by fudging the posting dates. If you just got here you’d never know. Then I could shrug my absence off to a mysterious Internet snafu for those of you who get this on feed, buy cheap Finalo (Propecia). Or – I could just offer short snippets to get us current and ask for your forgiveness.

Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, Hmmm. Guess which one? (You get to practice forgiveness!) In the interest of saving time, Australia, uk, us, usa, I am not posting any 2010 comments. Instead, I have selected a progression of short journal entries and spirit dialogs that will hopefully tell the story and share the “classroom” in a self-explanatory way. If you have questions, Finalo (Propecia) schedule, just ask. Here we go.


Journal, April 8, 1994 “.., Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. Buy Finalo (Propecia) without a prescription, When these racing hormones kick in, the idea of finding comfort or distraction in another man is tempting. But then I think, I have never taken this kind of time just for me and I like what I’m discovering, Finalo (Propecia) alternatives. Am I not worth my own attention. Why get lost in a quick fix?”

Spirit Dialog, Finalo (Propecia) from canada, April 9, 1994 “The real work is not in the struggle, but in the careful observation of and accepted responsibility for your creations … It is not a spell you cast, nor magic, low dose Finalo (Propecia). Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, It is like what you call intervention. Divine intervention is, in part, Online buying Finalo (Propecia), your own, as you are of the Divine. You choose to be aware of this now in the work that you do and so, in a way, no prescription Finalo (Propecia) online, are setting the pace as [Ray] must keep up with your growth …”

Journal, April 9, Buy generic Finalo (Propecia), 1994“It’s time to get back to that young gal who used to dig through trunks to find vintage clothes she could wear to high school. The one who wore her grandmother’s costume jewelry and her mother’s ‘50s jackets and blouses. The one who wore black nail polish that smelled like cherry and pale pink lipstick as eye shadow because the cosmetic companies had not yet invented it!”

Journal, April 10, Finalo (Propecia) trusted pharmacy reviews, 1994 “What is best for me. … there’s a difference between my way, based in fear and control, and me first, based in love and concern… So much of what I do is still within the context of the relationship, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. What I believe I need to do, Doses Finalo (Propecia) work, to “keep the door open” and not jeopardize the relationship further … Is it really in my best interest to continue to hope for Ray’s return, and thus keep the ground fertile and tilled for that possibility. Is it in my best interest to be keeper of the field when my other half is out "fertilizing" another field?”

Spirit Dialog, April 11, ordering Finalo (Propecia) online, 1994 “… good practice for you, as you are correct in that you still put the relationship first. Finalo (Propecia) dangers, This is not bad, as the whole is important. However, this is part of your dynamics because its base is upon a feeling of unworthiness to come before the relationship, effects of Finalo (Propecia), rather than love for the whole … You have feared to love yourself, as you have set yourself up to earn your own love by doing and giving … This is why you have difficulty being.”

“You must then consider what best suits your temperament and do so with an attitude of “being” you and not “doing” Ray … Watch what you give power to or you will fall in line with Ray’s abstractions and prolong this period… This is why your motives must be clear in taking care of yourself. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, You do deserve better treatment, but from yourself. Finalo (Propecia) price, coupon, A self that is not focusing on him!”

Yellow Threesome

Photo – Courtesy of Casa Dresden

Spirit Dialog, April 12, 1994 “Your fear is that this is a calculated risk, which is why you must do your part, Finalo (Propecia) price. Not just for you, but for [Ray]. Finalo (Propecia) used for, He is counting on you to remember your part … his fear [is] that he might get lost in this … Trust this. You prayed together. You did this together .., Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. Ray must remain blinded to accelerate the correction so you will secure the understanding you need ... There has to be a degree of doubt to make you do the work, buying Finalo (Propecia) online over the counter. But there has to be a degree of “knowing” while it is occurring, as the knowing is part of your opening up. Finalo (Propecia) brand name, This is a lucid dream. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, What you do for yourself, you will do for Ray.”

Journal, April 13, 1994 “It appears that both my negative and positive [core beliefs] are being challenged by this separation. I say I believe in love. In love’s ultimate goodness. If I really believe that, buy Finalo (Propecia) without prescription, why am I so afraid now that Ray has left. When he was with me, Finalo (Propecia) pharmacy, I believed that love, our love, could overcome anything. But now I see his love as withdrawn and limited, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. Maybe if I could still see love in him, where can i cheapest Finalo (Propecia) online, I wouldn’t be so fearful … God, I am placing all love outside myself. Finalo (Propecia) overnight, No wonder I’m afraid. Can I forgive myself for seeing love as fickle and unattainable. For identifying love only with a body?”

Spirit Dialog, April 15, after Finalo (Propecia), 1994 “When you seek truth, why do you think you will find only lies. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, … You can get lost in the signs and not do the work. Online buying Finalo (Propecia) hcl, You have been told. Believe that it is true ... There is still much in your past to heal …”

Journal, April 16, what is Finalo (Propecia), 1994“Mom should be here soon. I’m so glad she’s coming up. How odd, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. Finalo (Propecia) maximum dosage, Just a few months back, I thought Ray and I would be in Florida this very weekend, celebrating Mom and Dad’s fortieth anniversary … I know this is hard for her. She loves Ray and won’t condemn him, Finalo (Propecia) over the counter. And I don’t want her to … Damn this is tough.”

Journal, April 18, Finalo (Propecia) dosage, 1994 “Mom is helping me anchor in my little house …  She found fabric that matched some throw pillows I’d bought with Lea a few weeks ago and made valances for the living room windows while I was at work today … but they didn’t turn out the way she wanted. When I got home she seemed frustrated and upset. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, I could tell that she had been crying but was trying to hide it. The look on her face shot straight to my heart. I knew it wasn’t about the valances not turning out, no prescription Finalo (Propecia) online. It was the whole thing – my life, my marriage – and her wanting to make it all better, Finalo (Propecia) without a prescription, all right for me … How odd to be in such pain and feel so much gratitude at the same time. I look around and see Mom encouraging me to come out in my home …”


Photo courtesy of Linda Pavlick

Journal, April 22, 1994 “Ray, Shelly is not the betrayal, where to buy Finalo (Propecia). Not now. Not even six years ago, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. The betrayal is that you saw me slipping away, and all you could do was stand in judgment and deem me hopeless. How is it you stopped believing in me. You were burying me alive with every mental thought of leaving … You saw me in my weakest, most fearful moments … I trusted you not to abuse me with that. I do not have one friend today who would judge me as hopeless and see leaving me as the solution … This is where I feel betrayed. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, You withheld love, when love could have healed.”


  • Post Number Twenty-One: This is an a la carte post. But everything on the menu is about love. Every one of these excerpts suggests a thought to nurture your spirit. Loving self. Loving others. Loving unions, Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription. Me. You. Us. Betrayal comes whenever we withhold love so consider this: Where have you “withheld love, when love could have healed.” When you looked at yourself in the mirror. Buy Finalo (Propecia) Without Prescription, When you looked across the table at another. When you looked out at the world?

  • A Funny Thought: I abandoned the Bernadette of 1994 the past few weeks but am grateful she did her work and did not abandon me. Because she did what she did, I can do what I do.

  • About This Post: I'm attempting to merge the nine months recorded in Bernadette’s Pages with the present here – but still can’t figure out how to format it in a neat and tidy way. So, it’s probably going to be raw and choppy in places. I’ll throw in some quotes and bullets to guide you along. If I lose you somewhere, let me know. I’ll come back to get you.

The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it. Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD. You CAN get here from there!


Excerpts ©2006 from Bernadette’s Pages: An Intimate Crossroad.

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Journal, March 29, 1994 “Where did my imaginings take me, Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale. Order Remonabent (Acomplia) from mexican pharmacy, I was afraid Ray would find another woman because he no longer seemed to desire me. How did I reinforce that fear?”

Spirit Dialog “… You do not need to lose hope, online buying Remonabent (Acomplia) hcl, Cheap Remonabent (Acomplia) no rx, but you cannot find hope in external signs from him. It must come from your connection with what you “know, is Remonabent (Acomplia) safe, Remonabent (Acomplia) price, coupon, ” as when you first met … See how your fears have created your part in this. Do the work Sandra gives you to get clear … You are no less because he thinks he wants you not, Remonabent (Acomplia) canada, mexico, india. Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale, You have always looked to the men in your life to place your value. Rx free Remonabent (Acomplia), You must want you. You must value you, canada, mexico, india. About Remonabent (Acomplia), How else will you know what, in your experience, after Remonabent (Acomplia), Comprar en línea Remonabent (Acomplia), comprar Remonabent (Acomplia) baratos, is worth the attention and so the “intention” that you give. It is intentions that create your life experience, buy cheap Remonabent (Acomplia) no rx. Where would misdirected or misunderstood intentions place your life?

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Do not worry about Ray, dear, Remonabent (Acomplia) no prescription. Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale, You keep looking to him and you will not have accomplished your part, in the desired for time span … So get to work …”

2010: OUCH. Remonabent (Acomplia) class, They called me out on that one. These words bear repetition AND serious contemplation.

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  • Post Number Seventeen: When I look at the books that have made it to my shelves in the last ten years – books on intention, attraction, being, now-ing – and so many more – I am amazed at what was scribed onto the pages of my journal back in 1994, Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale. It is as if Spirit said,  “Here’s the shovel. GO DIG. AND WRITE ABOUT IT. We need you to record what digging looks like. There will be others who will come along and explain this in depth later to validate your work so you will know you are not crazy.”

  • A Funny Thought: Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale, If I could go back to 1994, right now. I would say, “Bernadette, pay ATTENTION. In 2010 there will be folks like Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks selling books about this very idea. Your angels are leading you with LOVE to the Truth.”

  • About This Post: I’m attempting to merge the nine months recorded in Bernadette’s Pages with the present here – but still can’t figure out how to format it in a neat and tidy way. So, it’s probably going to be raw and choppy in places. I’ll throw in some quotes and bullets to guide you along, Remonabent (Acomplia) For Sale. If I lose you somewhere, let me know. I’ll come back to get you.

The Messy Room and my Facebook Page are two ways that I share the “HOW” of it. Please join me and SPREAD THE WORD. You CAN get here from there!

Excerpts ©2006 from Bernadette’s Pages: An Intimate Crossroad

If you like this then LIKE this and SHARE it. Together we grow.

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